Kids: Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children...

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 22:33 - United States - Washington Crossing

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 805

You deserved it 7 443

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Same thing different taste

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 4 106

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 2 483

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 6 824

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 139

You deserved it 217

By ravenskater - 04/04/2011 02:47

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 439

You deserved it 6 508

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 110

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 360

You deserved it 10 401

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 560

You deserved it 10 547

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 274

You deserved it 77 680

BlackHawkSavior 28

Friday 1 January 2016 18:06

Ask him if his parents know about them, rude prick.

Soloman212 28

Friday 1 January 2016 18:06

I guess his parents didn't get the memo either

Comments

guii_fml 24

Friday 1 January 2016 20:02

There're haven't seen that b4

GeorgiaBea 28

Friday 1 January 2016 20:03

What a dick, when most likely at that moment all you needed was a sympathetic smile and commiserate on how ridiculous kids can be sometimes.

thatkiwiguy 13

Friday 1 January 2016 20:07

Well I was going to comment about his general douchebaggery but frankly many people here have already put so eloquently what an unmitigated cockbite that guy was there's really nothing more to say.

hpandher 16

Friday 1 January 2016 20:11

Even though he was being a jerk, somehow this fml brought a smile on my face...

wand3rlus 2

Friday 1 January 2016 20:14

I didn't know which one to vote, I just laughed so hard. Sorry he is rude though ??

ascott1989 0

Friday 1 January 2016 20:19

Should have said ur the ass that should have been swallowed

kaitb1103 23

Friday 1 January 2016 20:35

Bahahahaha. That's funny!

kirby1964 20

Friday 1 January 2016 20:44

Tell him they do work post birth. Hey, he had a bad day and now your kids are dancing on his last nerve. Just say sorry and ask the kids to cool it a bit. He is not the only one your kids are annoying.