Miscellaneous: Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/11/2013 21:57 - United States - Stillwater

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 895

You deserved it 3 213

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Same thing different taste

Armed and not dangerous

By littledonny - 12/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 012

You deserved it 1 292

Back 2 school

By christine brown - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 102

You deserved it 3 805

Say hello to my plastic friend!

By Pandathepilot - 10/11/2017 15:00

Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 639

You deserved it 335

Paul Blurt

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 160

J'accuse...!

By hockeymango57 - 24/09/2017 23:15

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 050

You deserved it 635

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 02:01 - United States - West Sacramento

Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 1 133

By ouch - 09/02/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 752

You deserved it 35 549

By da man - 11/02/2009 11:38 - Canada

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 532

You deserved it 17 400

By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 924

You deserved it 3 016

By Deaf - 02/07/2015 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 402

You deserved it 1 848

Next

Top comments

mn_shr 22

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:41

Seriously OP, what era are you from?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:47

"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"

Comments

thebomb553 5

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:45

What on earth?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:47

"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"

Ambient25 24

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:54

"Teacher! This gentle breeze is stabbing me!"

mif_fml 27

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:30

Cool your jets.

Ambient25 24

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:49

#35 I am offended by your use of the term "heartless". Quite a few people, to include vegans, are born without them. Animals have to compete for the same food source with these people! It's a tragedy :(.

BobbieH 19

Saturday 23 November 2013 4:06

That must have been a horrible experience for your "friend" Noor. It's no good when your bits are in bits and bits.

badbaby_87 5

Saturday 23 November 2013 6:32

*whirrrr*

Sports_guy3 28

Saturday 23 November 2013 23:45

#35, #37, and #43- I am offended by all your comments.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:51

Those blades are sharp...what would they do if you brought a jack/pocket knife?

drewflav 17

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:57

The foam ones couldn't cut through paper, let alone human skin. Don't be silly!

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:49

Being silly is kind of what this web site is for.

drewflav 17

Saturday 23 November 2013 9:59

True, but I would've been thumbed down for stating my true thoughts. I have to maintain some form of a filter.

ImAFaker 29

Saturday 23 November 2013 17:24

It's not the blades that hurt, it's the breeze. The sharpness of the cool breeze hurts me so. Oh the humanity!

Zimmington 21

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:55

Schools these days go crazy over EVERYTHING I was once called to the office for having a little 5 clip .22 its insane!

Freethaawave 19

Saturday 23 November 2013 4:37

Too soon?

sunnyray812 42

Saturday 23 November 2013 2:59

Next your principal will wonder why you're carrying pencils in your pocket and lecture you on how dangerous those "weapons" are.

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:03

Those were the good old days.

phoenix1977 8

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:06

My daughter got suspended for a week for a laser pointer and apparently that was lenient because according to the zero tolerance policy she should have been expelled and if it happens again she will be She's 12

JMichael 25

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:19

We live in a era where your pinky can be used as a weapon.

sydstoomuch 19

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:24

Damn...

sydstoomuch 19

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:26

...

phatdaddy62 23

Saturday 23 November 2013 20:46

There's a button for that.

Sports_guy3 28

Saturday 23 November 2013 23:46

#94- How many times are you gonna say that?

8born8 18

Sunday 24 November 2013 5:01

phatdaddy62 is a broken record, repeating the same one hit wonder on a continuous loop.

Tessa_11 19

Saturday 23 November 2013 3:28

At my school, you would of gotten expelled.

emeraldisle 30

Saturday 23 November 2013 8:02

*would have

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You deserved it 639

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I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 455

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I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 151

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I agree, your life sucks 41 538

You deserved it 3 659