Animals: Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of...

By Maggie123 - 14/09/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 280

You deserved it 27 926

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Same thing different taste

Crunchy

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 12:00 - Denmark - Randers

Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 155

By anonymiss - 13/04/2009 16:12 - Canada

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 818

You deserved it 25 476

Packaging

By Anonymous - 01/09/2020 17:01 - Germany

Today, I was cleaning up after my mom visited with her dogs. She'd left a little pill jar on the kitchen counter. Had she forgotten her medicine? It made a weird, soft sound when I shaked it. I opened the lid to shake some pills into my hand, only it wasn't pills. It was two fat ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 243

By Ew-dles - 09/09/2017 20:00

Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 640

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 331

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 966

You deserved it 8 665

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 274

You deserved it 62 331

By KKimrae_ness - 28/05/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 468

You deserved it 47 289

By ChocoMilkManG - 03/07/2009 01:37 - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 276

You deserved it 17 996

_DANTE_ 0

Monday 14 September 2009 12:31

Who chugs a random glass of water lying on their sink in the first place? Gross.

Jupi_fml 2

Monday 14 September 2009 12:37

I want to say you deserve it for not paying attention, but I don't think anyone really TRULY deserves to gulp that down, unknowingly or not.

Comments

licketyslit 0

Tuesday 15 September 2009 3:13

YDI for being on drugs

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 15 September 2009 14:28

Well... if that doesn't kill off anything thats brewing down there then I don't know what will. ;)

silly248 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 6:45

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, wtf were you thinking?

LyricalChaos 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 8:43

Anytime I want to eat but know I shouldn't I'll just read this FML. Thanks. -_-

xoconnie 8

Friday 18 September 2009 3:23

omgggg that is SSOOOO DISGUSTING. why didnt u look at it first?!!! aaah i would have thrown up for sure! ewwwwwwwww you drank flies :P

Poochie22 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 16:16

Dude..get your stomach pumped.

m57applin 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 1:59

how dont you notice that??

bossybanks 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 1:52

u had to have smelled the vinegar wen the cup was close to ur mouth being ready to b drank so ydi

DisappearingRose 18

Sunday 19 September 2010 4:10

At least you took your pills :)

sin211 0

Saturday 12 March 2011 2:08

why wouldn't you look in the cup first?! IDIOT YDI!!

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The Top

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 576

Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 5 075

The Top

Today, my biggest form of entertainment of the week was when I read a blunt, scathing, brutally honest review of an absolutely horrible book I read a few days ago. I need a life. And better books. And friends with better tastes in books. And a bonfire to toss this book into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 302

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 037

You deserved it 4 974

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 165

You deserved it 3 091

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 779

You deserved it 58 931

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 576

You deserved it 20 414

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 678

You deserved it 2 485

Same thing different taste

Crunchy

Packaging

Morning pick-me-up

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