Prehistoric

By and she blames me -_- - 13/10/2013 21:50 - Canada - Calgary

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 302
You deserved it 4 362
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Top comments

Kamon97 23

That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(

205 3

Comments

michaelaranda 28

this doesn't really sound like an associated bandit, it seems more like op trying to cover up that HE got rid of the vcr. or it was an ass bandit. sorry about all the ass bandits op.

6 46
TheCanucklehead 22

They run about the same... - *takes off glasses in dramatic fashion* 'Dat ass' *steals everything associated with that ass*

11 70
TheCaramelKing 11

Swiggity swoogy I'm coming for that booty.

77 4
soccerstar1996 18

I didn't even have to look at the location thing on the FML to know this was in Canada. "The front door was unlocked" was all it took

110 2
\ 28

"Ass-" is a prefix used to intensify an adjective or to demonize a noun.

5 29
ChevyRedneck85 13

Damn....wish I knew that the front door was open

24 1
neeni88 23

Leaving your door open, no matter how "safe" your neighborhood is, is just stupid. Locks are there for a reason - use it - because you never know!! (And yeah, I am also from Canada)

22 14
LilFlutter 10

B-double O-T-Y, can't get it off my mind!

10 5
incoherentrmblr 21

Comes back to kick your door in. Waits until you get a new one, does it again three weeks later...

5 1
incoherentrmblr 21

Did he get away in a car that has "assman" for license plate?

7 4
JMichael 25

34- you can have it ;)

0 0
bandeek 30

I'm American and i leave my front door unlocked.

2 14
warriorartemis 11

Yes, as opposed to rump-ranger.

6 1
KingreX32 21

yesterday night I feel asleep with the door unlocked all night.

0 5
aron666 25

Like one of the Jiggle-butts.

0 3
Chumbowamba 10

Ass-Bandit and Crotch-Thief. Break in and make a daring escape! Quick to the ass hole!

2 0
someguy314159265 15

45 - I also live in Canada, in a rather peaceful neighbourhood, and I still have enough sense to lock my door at all times. (You can tell I'm from Canada by the way I spelled "neighbourhood".)

0 2
justawallflower 27

Umm...he obviously robs booties.

0 1
HeyHeyFishFillet 34

One of the many reasons I love FML. I get to learn new insults every day!

41 2
Ki11erC 18

Ass bandit is old, come out from your rock.

4 11
alligator729 15

You're being an ass-bandit. Go back under yours.

17 4
Kamon97 23

That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(

205 3
MasqueradePrince 25

I have VHS tapes... Just not a player for them...

28 3
MasqueradePrince 25

I couldn't find any the last few times I went...

8 1
linyah 11

really? they have tons where I live o3o

5 0
MasqueradePrince 25

I would steal a VHS player... But I would check the doors first...

69 7
lilpsyco 16

I would pay you to take my VHS player. It has less value than a door stop at this point.

15 0
incoherentrmblr 21

To hell with VHS, time to bring Beta Max back.

4 3
KK3137 31

But if he had gone through the front door she definitely would not believe you that it was stolen..

2 0
\ 28

#96 Stop living in 1989! Beta is DEAD and VHS is where it's at.

4 3
Angelrose2004 17

Maybe because he wanted to throw it away and she wouldn't let him. Hence, why she would think that he set it up to be stolen.

19 3
CelticReverie 5

That makes sense. Heck, bitches be crazy nowadays...assuming OP would set up a whole robbery, whilst breaking a window, just to get rid of the damn thing O.o

12 9
JACKxRAWR 22

I'm more worried about how poor their home security is.

3 2
Infamous_Tora 12

NOT THE VHS!! What has this world come to?!

49 0
ruckfules85 34

So your FML is that he broke the window and not how much trouble your gonna be in with your wife lol.

27 3
SarMarJo 17

Ass-bandit is a wonderful word. That really does suck, OP. I once had someone break into my house to steal cookies and ramen noodles. Look on the bright side, at least they only took that! Hopefully it doesn't cost too much to replace the window.

39 1
skyttlz 32

My house has been broken into but they took the wii, my moms iPad, jewelry, and cash.

4 6
SarMarJo 17

That's very unfortunate. Punk ass ass-bandits.

21 1
Frostie13 11

so I think it was probably some very confused potheads that went in and took ur cookies and ramen lol

5 1
Al3xv3l92 24

He did you a favor well except for the window.

12 1