Intimacy: Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am...

FML for mobile
Free

By danesy - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 260

You deserved it 3 795

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Way too public

By stewiesclone - 11/02/2010 09:09 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 001

You deserved it 3 069

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 632

You deserved it 5 563

By anonymouse - 09/03/2011 19:37 - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 912

You deserved it 42 621

FML Uncensored

By Nightmares - 07/08/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 745

You deserved it 8 332

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 08:20 - Japan

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 532

You deserved it 10 421

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 821

You deserved it 12 095

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 3 701

By annabellatrix - 14/09/2015 18:20 - Hungary

Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 407

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 18:34 - United States - Metairie

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 604

You deserved it 34 432

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 443

You deserved it 2 731

Gringo_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 12:02

Not over you i hope =//

ellykhoshkele 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 13:05

ewwwwwwwwww u poor soul!!!! yuck!!

Comments

dozmay107 0

Friday 13 March 2009 23:10

some people have no shame!

FMLaddictaylor 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 17:54

Gotta love that.

TAGM 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:11

Who the **** deside to ********** in the subway?!? Bleh, forget it. Obviusly he's a pretty sick man, so I shouldn't worry too much.

meowmio 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:51

that happened to someone I know. Except she was on a bus, and the guy was jacking off into a coke bottle. public transit is messed. srsly.

adamford130 0

Friday 20 March 2009 23:38

AHAHAHAHA. Isn't the subway fun?

a1m2a3d4o5 0

Monday 23 March 2009 19:11

hahahaha, #8LOOOL

sirenalu 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 15:55

ahhhhhh

deadlycandii 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 1:24

poor dude...hoply u did see his thing O.O

kerihobo 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 12:36

@ 68.... lol... his thingy fit into a coke bottle? lawl no wonder he's single

mikediesel 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 14:18

That's hot! Lmao

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Capitalism Health Sports Awkward Work Friends Weird Management Relatable Birthday Teenagers Phobias Insects Embarrassing Food Smells Restaurants Poopoo peepee Relationship advice #FAFO Intimacy Sex Family Money Kids Skincare Love Housework Technology

The Top

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 1 143

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 615

You deserved it 4 847

The Top

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 649

You deserved it 2 825

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 9 911

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 665

You deserved it 36 415

Today, my girlfriend, who got married at 19 and divorced at 30, told me how much she regretted wasting all her “hot years” being a good and faithful wife to her ex. Oh and that she never got a “hoe-phase” in college like her friends. I think she’s fishing for my permission to cheat. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 185

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 186

You deserved it 7 695

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 902

You deserved it 3 020