Intimacy: Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am...

By danesy - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 253

You deserved it 3 791

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Same thing different taste

Way too public

By stewiesclone - 11/02/2010 09:09 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 3 063

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 609

You deserved it 5 547

By anonymouse - 09/03/2011 19:37 - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 911

You deserved it 42 612

FML Uncensored

By Nightmares - 07/08/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 8 326

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 08:20 - Japan

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 516

You deserved it 10 419

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 091

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 621

You deserved it 3 699

By annabellatrix - 14/09/2015 18:20 - Hungary

Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 650

You deserved it 2 404

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 18:34 - United States - Metairie

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 34 417

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 435

You deserved it 2 729

Gringo_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 12:02

Not over you i hope =//

ellykhoshkele 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 13:05

ewwwwwwwwww u poor soul!!!! yuck!!

Comments

Guyoverhere 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 1:43

Who the hell masturbates infront of strangers in public

melicakes 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 12:16

How can anybody say you deserve this? That doesnt even make sense.

LordNate 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 8:00

I can't stop laughing XD

MasterConan 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 21:47

guess ur hot then huh? lmao.

rOBboCOp 0

Friday 5 February 2010 6:00

how doya jerk off on a subway like i mean theres lots of distractions and if it was me i wouldnt have been able to focus :)

1NYCHottie 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 1:14

It was a mentally challenged person for sure...

qwertification 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:02

sorry i didnt see you on the subway

1NYCHottie 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 1:12

Damn, it just had to be in NYC!!? And this happens often, so I know this Fml is true! That sux Op!!

annabanana601 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 20:29

lol but that's not really an fml.

tdwp964 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 3:55

Hahaha not at the subway carlos!

lizzyboo1021 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 17:31

Lmaoooo how he gunna do dat on a subway

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 085

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 151

You deserved it 39 590

The Top

Today, my date for this weekend called and asked if he could bring his possible new girlfriend on our weekend getaway as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 277

Today, I reached my goal weight. My arms and legs are thin, but my face looks horrible and my belly didn't reduce an inch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 825

You deserved it 293

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 891

You deserved it 10 602

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 740

You deserved it 3 188

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 811

You deserved it 3 779

Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 720

You deserved it 35 773