Transportation: Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful...

By tittyboomboom - 24/03/2016 13:16 - Australia

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 961

You deserved it 2 060

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Same thing different taste

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 305

You deserved it 3 321

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 477

You deserved it 12 793

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 8 444

Riveting

By Kebabjoon - 29/04/2011 11:36 - Spain

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 614

You deserved it 4 880

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 7 048

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 316

You deserved it 6 071

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 421

You deserved it 4 043

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 846

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 587

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 728

You deserved it 4 350

Steve95401 49

Thursday 24 March 2016 17:23

At least it was just his finger.

Silverfeathery 21

Thursday 24 March 2016 17:24

Better hope it was clean

Comments

frecklebrit 15

Thursday 24 March 2016 19:47

It could be worse. You could of had 17 different nose bleeds throughout the interview

captainsmegma 12

Thursday 24 March 2016 19:47

Could have been a dick!

NYGiants1925 22

Thursday 24 March 2016 19:56

What... The... ****...

menja 29

Thursday 24 March 2016 20:04

Yawn rape!

Red332333 1

Thursday 24 March 2016 20:15

should have had a v8

kingpling 4

Thursday 24 March 2016 20:21

Good job you didn't fart

ashyash90 8

Thursday 24 March 2016 20:25

so you bit him right? because I would have bit him....hard.

Bonafonte 24

Thursday 24 March 2016 20:28

I would've bitten him. Who even does that?

sirtuntz 7

Thursday 24 March 2016 20:45

With a name like titty boom boom, I am not surprised

crudeandrudeguy 29

Friday 25 March 2016 4:47

Hey, if you look at her profile pictures you would see that the name is well chosen!!!

Dexter83_fml 17

Thursday 24 March 2016 22:31

I would of thumped him one.

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The Top

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 135

Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 472

You deserved it 9 839

The Top

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 177

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 465

You deserved it 31 243

Today, I found out my parents truly believe that Donald Trump will return to power in August. They also believed it was going to happen in March. It's like living in a death cult. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 301

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 048

You deserved it 3 383

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 149

You deserved it 9 474

Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 758

Same thing different taste

Riveting

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