Transportation: Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful...

By tittyboomboom - 24/03/2016 13:16 - Australia

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 961

You deserved it 2 060

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 305

You deserved it 3 321

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 477

You deserved it 12 793

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 8 444

Riveting

By Kebabjoon - 29/04/2011 11:36 - Spain

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 614

You deserved it 4 880

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 7 048

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 316

You deserved it 6 071

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 421

You deserved it 4 043

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 846

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 587

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 728

You deserved it 4 350

Steve95401 49

Thursday 24 March 2016 17:23

At least it was just his finger.

Silverfeathery 21

Thursday 24 March 2016 17:24

Better hope it was clean

Comments

ViviMage 39

Thursday 24 March 2016 22:45

I'd bite him. Teach him human bites can be severe and not to invade my space again

MonCapitan 4

Thursday 24 March 2016 23:27

Get into the habit of biting down hard after a yawn, some people need to learn the hard way.

jimeple 12

Thursday 24 March 2016 23:44

Who does this sort of thing? Isn't this kind of like an assault?

Gingerwithasoul 6

Thursday 24 March 2016 23:46

yes..."finger"...

kquals 8

Friday 25 March 2016 0:09

That is just weird. I suggest mouth wash.

GeeThatSucks 9

Friday 25 March 2016 0:24

I hope you just took all your anger out on him and just ****** up his shit. I'm sure nobody could find you guilty since he committed oral sodomy.

TabooSushi 24

Friday 25 March 2016 1:14

What is with people who do this? I've been hearing about it more and more lately.

CarouselHeart 11

Friday 25 March 2016 1:14

Omg, that happened to me in a club, I yawned and some woman rushed over and tried to shove her finger in my mouth. Wtf. FYL.

Moerighan 23

Friday 25 March 2016 1:17

At least you didn't have 17 nose bleeds.

EmConforti 2

Friday 25 March 2016 1:58

******* creep

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Break-ups Love Relatable I need your advice Awkward Engagement Coworkers School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Food Messy Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Dance Embarrassing Weddings Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 830

You deserved it 51 884

Today, for an eight-hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 002

You deserved it 3 708

The Top

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 035

You deserved it 3 919

Today, I took Viagra so we could have sex at bedtime. We fell asleep afterwards, but I must've had a reaction to the Viagra as it was still erect this morning and must have been erect all night, way longer than 4 hours. I went straight to hospital as my penis was numb and pale blue. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 245

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 158

You deserved it 10 107

Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 388

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 570

You deserved it 5 146

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 255

You deserved it 7 928

Same thing different taste

Riveting

Top comments

Comments