Miscellaneous: Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with...

By Shamu - 14/02/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 489

You deserved it 8 812

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 17:31 - United States

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 11 262

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 653

You deserved it 6 439

By swmmr - 07/08/2011 19:41 - United States

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 454

You deserved it 14 095

Hey guys!

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 392

You deserved it 39 513

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 49 528

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 12:03

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 22:04 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 396

You deserved it 2 300

Looks

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 06:00

Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 363

Supportive

By short&stout - 26/08/2017 20:00

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 729

By Embarrassed Swimmer - 11/12/2011 07:23 - Australia

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 777

You deserved it 18 555

beerpong26 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 5:02

hahahahahahaha

wtf_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 7:11

oh, gosh. dads are always so sensitive.

Comments

holynemesis1208 3

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:01

for some reason i think most peoples dad's have the best sense of humor.

MaliciousMiggyYo 0

Monday 23 February 2009 6:15

your daddy has jokes. [:

bigweber77 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 10:59

i want your dad

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:16

toooooo jokes.

saby44 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 20:24

aw thats horrible! but i cant help laughing... i feel like a jerk..

Sofa_King 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:48

Come on man, that was hillarious! He obviously made a joke with no intentions to hurt your feelings And yeah, you had it coming for being fatty - do something about it or stop whining like a little girl!