Kids: Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a...

By lovedbyallthewrongppl - 28/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 144

You deserved it 13 633

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By icanthearyou - 04/04/2013 23:55 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 089

You deserved it 4 012

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 096

You deserved it 2 376

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 10:41 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 220

You deserved it 1 918

Waxing and waning

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 5 351

By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 11:18 - United States

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 20:30

Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 934

You deserved it 299

By asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 9 639

What's up doc?

By fml - 29/07/2012 12:20 - Japan - Koshigaya

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 683

You deserved it 5 852

star_86 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:25

YDI for trying to teach that to a 2 year old!

SamSayzRAWRZ 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:27

she's 2. what else do you expect? YDI.

Comments

Perksofbeingawal 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:40

I LOVE DRAKE. okay that's all I wanted to say. :)

niw_fml 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:56

at least it wasn't your ass she shoved it in..

DenBriZel 31

Monday 27 January 2014 13:52

I'm fairly certain that it would be less painful to have a thermometer shoved up your ass than to be pierced through your eardrum.

courtsx 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 10:03

omg... I hope you're okay. FYL but with sympathy XD x

fml628 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 10:12

If you're in excruciating pain and can't hear, she might have pierced your eardrum - you should go to a doctor right away. P.S. You have my sympathy - kids are unpredictable and create danger in ways that defy reason.

tralin 8

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:19

25 is right, you need to go get that checked out if you haven't already.

docscientist 9

Sunday 28 November 2010 10:22

Why would you teach a 2 year old how to use a thermometer? that's a bit idiotic.

Sadochan 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 10:40

Shove it up her arse and tape her hands together, all the while furiously pulling and reinserting the thermometer(?) at a rapid rate until she gets the ******* lesson.