Kids: Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach...

By unluckycounsellor - 30/06/2009 23:26 - Bermuda

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 796

You deserved it 4 824

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By HateCelebz - 26/08/2023 00:02

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 214

Draining

By grlzze444 - 16/11/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 487

You deserved it 4 149

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 183

Little perv

By cplaner - 04/02/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 5 238

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 6 675

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

By rowanjusmc - 26/10/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 5 140

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 640

You deserved it 6 653

By Teach - 31/03/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 432

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Topguy 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:45

ewwww bad day...

TheChanel 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:52

see, this is why I'm just really not fond of kids... FYL

Comments

Uvula 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:43

First

Xero3g 5

Wednesday 1 July 2009 20:56

Hi 5!

ElliexMarie 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:21

lmao . oh well. that was cutee[:

Travesty42 14

Monday 31 May 2010 6:28

Not that you're ever going to see this, but, ElliexMarie, you have *amazing* eyes.

dragonaair 5

Tuesday 14 December 2010 9:16

106:Quite clearly its photoshopped

Topguy 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:45

ewwww bad day...

drummerforever 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 7:34

lol at least it didnt drip down into his pants

SystemofaBlink41 27

Thursday 17 November 2011 0:58

I would've barfed...

ohheykiwi 2

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:45

oh, man, that sucks!

sandra143 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:46

WTF uvula I get that your first, but your comment is pointless. To the OP, that sucks, but it made me lol. :)

lovelykendra5 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:47

Sick shit :/

Uvula 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:47

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

kewlcat 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:49

har har har

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 10:14

Guess what. If you just post first, it's a pointless comment. I've been first on several of these, yet not once did I scream "ZOMGZ FIRST!1!!!"

kewlcat 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 10:18

you're also a loser if you're on FML enough to get 1st so many times

jjenniferr05 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 12:14

Jealous?

missmeliss0309 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 20:59

ur not first, ur #6. durhurhur....

Odiny147 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 14:25

nice uvula

girlrome 19

Monday 25 November 2013 11:48

So you're first. What's the big deal? Get a life.

dyld921 2

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:49

Wait, if that happened, wouldn't some of it got into his pants as well?

glompable 19

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:51

Yeah.... he must've just been pretty young, if he just jumped off the OP's back and ran back to the beach.

buckeye91011 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:52

Did you throw some of it at him?

TheChanel 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:52

see, this is why I'm just really not fond of kids... FYL

lolzforfun228 3

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:30

wow thats just not cool. I'm not saying it's true, but I've always seen people who don't like kids to have some sort of mental problem. Kids are great, they jsut do stupid stuff when their young. Having a kid is an amazing experience.

daniisme 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:49

@78 I agree. I'm goin to study nannying for kids with mental disability In uni after I finish school, my school has a Wilson home so I help there on tues and Thursday. I <3 being13 :D