Intimacy: Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap,"...

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By Allie - 03/06/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 065

You deserved it 26 505

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Same thing different taste

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 27 883

By ... - 04/01/2014 05:25 - United States

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 385

You deserved it 8 787

By whoops - 25/05/2014 21:23 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 066

You deserved it 10 216

By Desperate_measures - 16/01/2010 12:22 - Greece

Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 14 787

Panic!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 355

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 23:01

Today, I was texting my boyfriend while in the car with my family. He sent a particularly racy text, and my little sister happened to look over at my phone and then asked quite loudly, "What does anal mean?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 1 194

Whatsapp? Not much

By Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 3 766

I'm a weirdoooooo

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 518

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 424

You deserved it 32 004

Ah, puppy love…

By Unlovable - 22/07/2019 04:00

Today, I was texting my crush. He wasn’t really into the texts because he was barely replying, until he texted back calling me "Baby." I got so excited, I almost cried, until he corrected himself and said that the text wasn’t for me. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 540

Gerblat 0

Friday 4 June 2010 1:22

Bwaaaaaaahahahahahaha!

Krajjan 9

Friday 4 June 2010 1:27

Could be a good thing. He might be interested in you now.

Comments

doomgiver5 0

Friday 4 June 2010 4:36

WIN 

drumhellermd 0

Friday 4 June 2010 4:45

that is just too funny...FYL indeed!

hannah1203 2

Friday 4 June 2010 4:47

lmao ur stupid for bot checking it

ShelbyKoz 0

Friday 4 June 2010 4:52

what he say ??

iwntmystapler 0

Friday 4 June 2010 5:02

lmfao. autotext/ t9 sucks more than anal.

rotflmmfaoatu 0

Friday 4 June 2010 5:07

are you a guy or girl cause it would be creepy as hell if you were a guy.

Starfire99 0

Friday 4 June 2010 8:52

Why?

tumblebum 0

Friday 4 June 2010 5:08

I have an iPhone. I agree with the rest of you- auto correct learns from the user!!!!

P5yko 0

Friday 4 June 2010 5:24

my iPhone b ****** up everything I wanna say too!!!!!!! ugh! smh.

Lmfao_69 0

Friday 4 June 2010 5:25

maybe you want anal and you just don't know that yet....lol

Finest872 5

Friday 4 June 2010 5:28

you must like anal because on the iPhone it remember words that you often text. LMAO

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The Top

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 120

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 963

The Top

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 113

You deserved it 1 318

Today, I spent thirty minutes ringing up a Guinea pig and supplies for a customer who talked like a sloth, all while she argued with over the price of everything, only for her to return it all five minutes later because her sister had "changed her mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 129

Today, my wife blamed me for the washing machine breaking. When I told her it wasn’t me because I haven’t used it this week, she immediately changed direction and started blaming me for not doing enough around the house, which is utter bullshit. I know I do my share, I think she just wanted to fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 142

Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 329

You deserved it 2 439

Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 570

Today, a 5th grader tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “Don’t ever watch Two Girls, One Cup. Trust me.” While I appreciate the advice, I am dreading the phone call home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 850

You deserved it 305