Animals: Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated...

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By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 559

You deserved it 29 274

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Same thing different taste

By Screamslikeagirl - 27/09/2016 19:17 - United States - Union City

Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 159

You deserved it 1 177

By JimiHendrix - 01/03/2013 01:55 - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 982

You deserved it 7 365

Wasps, what the **** do they want?

By Owie - 23/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 231

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 049

You deserved it 5 240

By Sting - 26/04/2016 20:49 - United States - Manassas

Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 465

You deserved it 1 024

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 945

You deserved it 12 983

By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 17:51 - United States - State College

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 924

You deserved it 4 102

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 93

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 11 012

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Steele

Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 139

DocBastard 38

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:28

That must really sting. Next time bee more careful.

very_ugly_girl 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:25

Hey, been awhile since we talked. Wasp do not make that type of sound. I think it is moo

Comments

DakotaCat 4

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:35

I'm in a hurry to get things done so I rush and rush 'till life's no fun. All I gotta do is live & die but I'm in a hurry and don't why..

naximus93 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 3:48

I love that song^

McMan 23

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:35

Damn it beat you through scare tactics, that takes talent... or a very dumb opponent but I'm sure it was the first :D

trollin4trannies 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:39

Idiot

Korro 8

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:42

I seen that episode on loony toons.

xX_WARNING_Xx 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:43

brawl .?

naximus93 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 3:51

Deffinition: A noisy quarrel, squabble or fight.

zp5 4

Sunday 19 December 2010 4:17

*Definition Grammar: If you're going to be a smart-ass, then have it.

NeverShoutHaylee 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:44

How did you manage to punch your self?

maddycakes19 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:45

lol same happened to me but in the car.. stupid freaking bees!

maxtheman 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 2:45

Sounds like the wasp is wearing the pants in this relationship

bella789 8

Monday 28 February 2011 8:38

hahahhaahhaa no joke that made me laugh so hard (:

satomi_ishida 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 3:12

You're a danger to yourself OP. Get help.

bubblezz0504 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 3:20

beating urself up is not the answer, u should get help :P

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The Top

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 154

You deserved it 8 718

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size, he asked for me to find a ring that I liked, and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh, the generosity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 010

You deserved it 37 082

The Top

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 016

You deserved it 4 756

Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 816

You deserved it 1 592

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 202

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 3 370

Today, I went to my dentist's appointment with huge anxiety because I had to get a filling. Last week, I paid $120 to be told I needed this filling. This time, I paid $80 to be told my teeth are fine. Each visit lasted all of 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 916

Today, my cat has a new hobby: She goes fishing. As in she catches the frogs out of the ornamental pond, then walks into my freshly mopped kitchen with dripping wet, muddy feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 165