By Anonymous - 19/03/2016 07:29 - United States - New Orleans

Spicy
Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 882
You deserved it 1 884
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Top comments

Welshite 39

Tomorrow it will be two minutes. And three minutes the day after. Isn't it wonderful that you get to witness such great personal accomplishments? You should congratulate him on his times each morning. Being out the stopwatch while you're at it.

283 5

Comments

NYGiants1925 22

Is suggest you get some headphones, but it sounds like they'd be done by the time you put them on.

26 1
Tomryan279 10

If he did what I think he did then your mom need a new boyfriend and the boyfriend need to learn how to pleasure a women for longer then a minute.

6 5
oomph_fml 25

That's a stupid reason to break up with someone. if she's unhappy with it they need to communicate and the next step would be seeing a doctor to find out what the problem is.

6 3
Tomryan279 10

Learn to read I never said break up with the mother!!

0 5
oomph_fml 25

You said the mother needs a new boyfriend, that means breaking up.

6 1
Laphog 17

Twist: He might actually have been timing to see how fast he could finish . Now that the silliness is out of the way , there is even more time to watch Netflix and eat Cheetos

8 1
Thekbking 11

or the real plot twist could be that the boyfriend got her to finish within a minute.

10 1
nzhx 23

That would be a record for the books

7 1
pawesome21 21

Wow that's five times longer than my last time!

4 1
50ShadesofBooty 7

This sounds like the exact FML I submitted a few months back that didn't make it to the site.

0 0
andrmac 25

You should call him the loudest minute man alive the next morning maybe it will embarrass him enough not to be so noisy or sound proof the room or put music on at least.

2 1