Transportation: Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use...

By Anonymous - 12/08/2011 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 162

You deserved it 2 974

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Same thing different taste

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 725

You deserved it 2 676

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 743

You deserved it 3 761

By Anna - 13/07/2013 04:40 - United States - New York

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 334

You deserved it 3 222

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 2 814

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By fviz - 07/02/2013 09:51 - United States

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 176

You deserved it 2 805

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 599

You deserved it 4 048

smashingdiscover 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:48

Enemy spotted

annajane 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:48

Pretended to? You sure about that?

Comments

duckman9 55

Friday 12 August 2011 23:15

At least did he get a nice view? Your fist in his eye would have definitely given him something to remember.

XxDrUnKeNGaMeRxX 0

Friday 12 August 2011 23:15

Ahh The Great Down Under.

lusk123 0

Friday 12 August 2011 23:16

Call of dooty. xD.

Coolguyt2 0

Friday 12 August 2011 23:24

you should've said "counter spy plane in bound"

RuCheezBurger 10

Friday 12 August 2011 23:28

Friendly SR-71 Above.

slkc91 1

Friday 12 August 2011 23:57

That is the most awesome thing anybody can say in a public restroom.

red1355 6

Saturday 13 August 2011 0:19

Love all the replies!!! Best ever!!! I would have jetisoned some of my spy plane fuel on him!! Lol

Letter0 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 0:48

Say "friendly blackbird is airborne" and then look over and say "friendly artillery coordinates recieved" and punch him in the crotch.

smhlqnick 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:13

You should have replied with "friendly fire" and peed on him.

Synyster430 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:31

******* campers..

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Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 006

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 518

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I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 228

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I agree, your life sucks 13 238

You deserved it 783

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 547

You deserved it 3 254

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 238

You deserved it 5 233

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 759

You deserved it 7 903

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 832

You deserved it 14 385

Same thing different taste

Dude! Boundaries!

Stranger danger

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