Miscellaneous: Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off...

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 14 215

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 4 988

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 077

You deserved it 6 688

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 9 409

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 12 033

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 057

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 383

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 7 527

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 6 589

extrasnipes 22

Sunday 21 June 2015 0:02

Bet the fight was about her not wanting to do anal

WOTAN1488 24

Sunday 21 June 2015 0:00

Learn to relax your anal sphincter.

Comments

Sathane 21

Sunday 21 June 2015 1:12

Pissed at your girlfriend? Wipe your ass like you're waxing a ******* car.

apaul982 14

Sunday 21 June 2015 1:13

So any "pain in the ass puns"?

buffy999 11

Sunday 21 June 2015 1:27

Ow. I know that didn't feel well. But this is seriously the best FML I've read. At least in awhile.

daxxbuttons 12

Sunday 21 June 2015 1:50

Dunno why this is more "FML" than "YDI" --- You gotta pay attention when you poop, man.

The_Bengineer 13

Sunday 21 June 2015 2:13

Never buy 1-ply

Hunkapoo 19

Sunday 21 June 2015 2:24

I don't think under any circumstances you should be aggressive at wiping your butt. voted your life sucks

suprisebitch 20

Sunday 21 June 2015 2:30

this is the funniest thing I've read on here

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 21 June 2015 2:39

Try using another square for more durability...

krispybacon4321 23

Sunday 21 June 2015 3:01

I had an argument with my bf as well. On the same day and the day before op. We seemed to have fixed it though.

lincolnstars 7

Sunday 21 June 2015 3:13

You liked it.

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Dogs Friends Pranks Housework Cars Porn Technology Health Sports Accident Mental health

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You deserved it 321

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I agree, your life sucks 47 929

You deserved it 29 392

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 504

You deserved it 29 333

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I agree, your life sucks 33 452

You deserved it 3 075

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I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 98

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I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 103

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I agree, your life sucks 24 403

You deserved it 1 800

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I agree, your life sucks 29 039

You deserved it 2 090

Same thing different taste

Humpty Dumpy

Gross out competition

Y'all need fiber.

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