Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

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Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 3 007

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 1 975

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 997

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 253

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 2 814

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 2 894

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 121

Be careful out there

By Burningeyes - 09/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 75

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

ismellladygaga 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:27

this shit made me lmao. o.o...!

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:34

lol I think that's hilarious!

CaliforniaCheese 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:58

Sounds like that upper body needs some work, I'd suggest you start carrying a slab of meat in both hands to build it up, it serves a dual purpose as it will deter your new boyfriend's lust for you.

browntiga 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:58

another species of the same gender

zacharydaniel 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:07

that would be funny...if it was true

bkina 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:51

lmao sooo funny comon if it was someone else ud be laughing too

lostfaithinpppl 19

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:30

Learn to spell before you attempt to communicate your thoughts in a written form again.

eminemXshady 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:44

^^ your name completes your comment

bkina 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:51

lmao sooo funny comon if it was someone else ud be laughing too

sammyxduh 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:05

Oh god, lololololololol.

Rjword3 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:32

hahahahahahahaha

exigency 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:34

"Savaged and brutally humped into submission." Lmfao. Your use of vocabulary definitely made this that much funnier. Though how long did it take you to look them up in a thesaurus?