Animals: Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he...

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 809

You deserved it 4 128

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 491

You deserved it 1 215

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 875

You deserved it 2 680

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 139

Classic canine move

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 22:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 313

Juggalette_623 9

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:12

Ouch. Ever think your dog hates you?

Asdas_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:15

I'm pretty sure a dog will notice if his owner faceplants into the sidewalk right next to him. Or then you have blind and deaf dog. Every dog that I've ever had would get scared right away, or at least wouldn't pee on you. Then again, you might be one of those dog owners that gets dominated by their little cute dogs.

Comments

JonReb 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:10

Aching body.. wtf? You only tripped dude.. if anything you would have nearly fallen on your dog and he would have gotten scared, although I'm doubtful scared enough to piss on you... ******* fake.

danisonx3 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:29

HAHAHAHA. ps 43 he said he tripped and fell on his face onto concrete. that could hurtt. and i've seen dogs pee on people before they think its okay

newguy12 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:34

how do you trip over a BUMP?

24788 6

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:44

Your dog now owns you.

Asdas_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 0:42

#44 Wherever he fell, it still would've scared the dog enough to jump away. You don't almost fall on your dog and then the dog moves over you and pees on you. That just doesn't happen.

_reagan 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:09

poor dog :( maybe he was tired of being manhandled? fyl :(

krankypoptart 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:23

your dog made you his bitch. lmfao

bibilaurrr 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 1:46

HAHA LOVE YOUR DOG XD

FMLwrestler 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 2:09

You are now his bitch... at least until you piss on him back. Don't disgrace all humans by losing this primitive battle of manhood and territory! ps YDI for not picking up your feet when you walk, and not watching where you're going well enough.