Animals: Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he...

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 4 658

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Same thing different taste

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 804

You deserved it 4 123

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 334

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 016

You deserved it 97 558

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 3 364

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 485

You deserved it 1 213

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 374

You deserved it 6 379

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 868

You deserved it 2 678

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 297

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 131

Classic canine move

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 22:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 313

Juggalette_623 9

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:12

Ouch. Ever think your dog hates you?

Asdas_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:15

I'm pretty sure a dog will notice if his owner faceplants into the sidewalk right next to him. Or then you have blind and deaf dog. Every dog that I've ever had would get scared right away, or at least wouldn't pee on you. Then again, you might be one of those dog owners that gets dominated by their little cute dogs.

Comments

brittahnayy 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:32

At least the dog didn't "proceed" to urinate.

Garanaw 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:33

Agree with #11, he planned it.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 30 May 2009 12:44

I agree with #11 and 13, he so planned that.

WhatAMishap 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 13:09

@ #5 + #6, so funny!. Also, I agree with #11.

kelevra2 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 13:44

I would so abandon that dog

redSquirrel 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 14:04

Unlikely...

Dead_and_Gone 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 14:22

That dog doesnt like very much

NoneOfTheAbove 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 15:00

Well look at it this way, he finally went, and a plus is he thinks you are so great that you should be urinated on to prove his appreciation. Plus... numbeer 16 the dogs hate you...