Animals: Whoops

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 491

You deserved it 1 215

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

Still counts!

By Andrea Trevor - 07/08/2018 15:00

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 489

You deserved it 242

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 5 478

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 656

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 809

You deserved it 4 128

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 300

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 241

ScratchCatPower 32

Monday 16 May 2016 23:40

"What... What do you need?" "... A tailor... BECAUSE I RIPPED MY PANTS AGAIN!"

ellisp1 15

Monday 16 May 2016 23:37

What a dog-gone shame.

Comments

ellisp1 15

Monday 16 May 2016 23:37

What a dog-gone shame.

silent_shark 10

Monday 16 May 2016 23:38

well. That will look weird either way. just get home asap

holly_fly 34

Monday 16 May 2016 23:38

I read one just like this in the "Nearly FMLs" section yesterday... Only their pants ripped in the back XD

Izabushel 65

Tuesday 17 May 2016 6:01

It's from the same guy. I'm glad it got through. Apparently it just needed to be reworded.

ScratchCatPower 32

Monday 16 May 2016 23:40

"What... What do you need?" "... A tailor... BECAUSE I RIPPED MY PANTS AGAIN!"

thisguy22 33

Monday 16 May 2016 23:45

Psht... Just owned it Eric. Let it flap in the breeze.

kowsee 22

Monday 16 May 2016 23:46

That poor chihuahua LoL

PackardBell_fml 19

Monday 16 May 2016 23:47

At least you didn't run into anyone. Sorry, op.

emeraldarcher74 30

Tuesday 17 May 2016 0:02

Pretty sure the Chihuahua enjoyed that.

rhiley 26

Tuesday 17 May 2016 0:06

did you run into anyone tho

FrozenMusic 26

Tuesday 17 May 2016 0:28

How...

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Tuesday 17 May 2016 1:00

Did you not read the FML? He described the whole thing.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 041

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 745

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I told a story about a new mother naming her daughter after the first thing she saw moments after she was born. The group admins accused me of lying, with absolutely zero proof, and deleted the post. The story is 100% true. My mother and I witnessed it with our own two eyes and ears. Fuck these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 207

Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 826

You deserved it 2 456

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 287

You deserved it 3 512

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 51

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 291

You deserved it 9 295