Love: Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt.... - FML

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By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 953

You deserved it 4 835

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Same thing different taste

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 899

You deserved it 3 639

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 856

You deserved it 9 503

Farm life

By FarmerGirl - 09/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Brossard

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 3 709

When you gotta go…

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 163

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 579

You deserved it 7 678

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 391

You deserved it 1 123

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 389

You deserved it 6 390

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 571

You deserved it 5 191

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 132

Good impressions last

By icarlypoop - 11/04/2020 23:00

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 490

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 9 March 2011 22:32

When people say not to get shit-faced on a first date, this is NOT what they mean.

firegecko123 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 22:25

OH DAMN!

Comments

Happygofucky 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 23:29

Ahh, the world has a great way of ******* up special moments, doesn't it? Gotta love nature..

truehitman2010 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 23:32

BOOM HEADSHOT 250

TheFection 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 3:27

^win. lawl

DianaFromHolland 3

Wednesday 9 March 2011 23:37

in many cultures birdshit means lots of luck - im not lyin, it is true!-

AnagenisisZagus 13

Wednesday 9 March 2011 23:37

So what? Did he at least say, "It fits!"?

sammigirl148 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 0:19

lol heres the real story: recently rejected bird flying over a couple romantically walking along the girl turns to the boy about to confess her love for him the bird gets angry and releases a boom not bothering to yell booms away and the girl gets shit all over her face and the bird cracks up and is happier then ever!!!!!

Shorty_Shaza 5

Thursday 10 March 2011 0:36

OP: 'My feelings for you are like little drops of heaven falling from the sky and onto this earth!'..... BOOM *Bird shit headshot* :)

SulfurPlague 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 4:32

hahah xD

xlovescream 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 0:41

AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH how did he react?

GailLeeRussell 2

Thursday 10 March 2011 0:52

Wow, talk about a 'shitty' situation. Pahaha(:

SirHobnobs 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 0:55

I ROFLed reading this, was expecting a heartbreak ending and then Plop Bird Shit FTW

SarahStarzz 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 1:01

well, what was his answer? that's wt matters right?

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The Top

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 450

You deserved it 4 428

Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 148

You deserved it 25 157

The Top

Today, we were running late when my wife came downstairs in a bathrobe looking like she just rolled out of bed, so I got mad. Apparently the robe was a Japanese casual robe, and she'd just got her hair done at the salon. Yeah, she’s now not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 747

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 584

You deserved it 26 636

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 247

You deserved it 37 023

Today, due to nepotism, I lost to a competitor. They rarely contributed to the competition and were literally distracted all the way through. Their quality was pretty low as well, but they were friends with the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 97

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 2 252

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 638

You deserved it 13 443