Kids: Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get...

By WickedRene - 02/08/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 941

You deserved it 8 226

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 203

You deserved it 18 846

By lifesucks4me - 23/02/2009 12:51 - United States

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 005

You deserved it 13 790

By bigbro - 06/09/2016 08:05 - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 369

You deserved it 4 978

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 3 966

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 152

You deserved it 6 675

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 197

You deserved it 76 850

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 14:08

Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 174

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 336

You deserved it 83 892

By CaoNiMa - 26/03/2009 15:42 - China

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 844

You deserved it 74 861

By cuntocracy - 21/01/2014 22:27 - Australia

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 236

You deserved it 6 076

evolution8 9

Saturday 2 August 2014 15:32

I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak

xXToxicPenguinXx 12

Saturday 2 August 2014 15:32

Oh kids these days!

Comments

MrSweeps 5

Saturday 2 August 2014 17:43

If your three year old has picked up that kind of language, and that kind of attitude, then you've failed as a parent, and you truly do deserve it. You reap what you sow.

Mojo0608 26

Saturday 2 August 2014 17:56

Says in the FML that it's her brother, not her son.

somthingstupd 9

Saturday 2 August 2014 18:36

Holy shit that man has a diverse vocabulary!

Saraishi 24

Saturday 2 August 2014 18:41

And that was when you took his toys and put him in a time out. Kids aren't stupid, they may not know what certain things mean but they know if they're bad things to say and test their limits with them. The key here is not to let them get away with it.

gennyv 29

Saturday 2 August 2014 18:57

I wonder which word he thought was the magic one

Boopycat 15

Saturday 2 August 2014 19:14

I hope you put him in his place, OP.

Liiiiiiiiike 15

Saturday 2 August 2014 19:30

At least he got the "b1tch" part right

Ninjahabilities 4

Saturday 2 August 2014 19:42

Who hides their cookies man ? You deserve it xD

RainbowBitch15 11

Saturday 2 August 2014 19:42

I think people are forgetting that the child is three. I am a preschool teacher and hear worse on a daily basis. Punishing the child is not the proper thing to do. The child needs to be corrected and talked to on his level. No, he doesn't get the cookie, but rather than getting angry and beating his ass, OP needs to not give him the cookie, sit him down, and explain to him calmly why he isn't getting the cookie. Then, OP needs to inform the parents of the situation. If the parents decide to punish the child further, so be it, but it is not OP's job to punish him.