Yep, This very good advice I suggest politely that you follow it.

My thought here is, if it was only a few weeks, how is that acceptable? When is cheating on your spouse ever acceptable? I MAY understand if you married someone and they happened to be asexual and only comfortable sharing that after marriage. But definitely not after a few weeks of no intimacy.

I'd talk about it, but it sounds like since she was on the pill they weren't using condoms, and that's why she knows he cheated.

@18 it's not acceptable. My comment only explores the possibility that OP's husband may not be cheating, and thus not to act rashly. However, if he is, then I would recommend a divorce, particularly if he turned to infidelity after so short a span of time.

#18 I didnt read it as a few weeks but that might be because of my experiences. I was a highly sexual person, dating my highly sexual boyfriend and when we started dating seriously I went on birth control. Now it's 5 years later, within a year I lost my entire sex drive gradually, tried to solve it (never concidered birth control to be the problem), 6 months ago I went off birth control and my full sexual drive was back within the week. So while you look at it as a few weeks from the moment she stopped the birth control, I see it as an indefenite period of time since she started using birth control.

I also don't think that treating cheating as this ultimate betrayel that emmediatly requires divorce is correct (again, because of the experiences I described before). Some cases of cheating are dump that asshole right now, but I think those are rare cases. Humans are sexual and we are programmed to not be monogamous yet we try so hard to go against our own nature. We can because we have the intelligence. We should try because it's better, but failing shouldn't be the hardest sin ever. Especially if your relationship is sexless. People underrate the value sex has in a relationship, it's not just the sex. If you go from a relationship with sex to one without you lose almost all the intimacy you have with your partner. Both of you will be more irritated and arguments will be more difficult to solve. The person without sex drive will feel frustrated, guilty, angry and will have lost a stress relief. Aka a difficult person to live with. The person without the sex drive will forget what was enjoyable about sex and will stop being understanding about the hardship of the person wanting sex, it's just sex. The person wanting sex will try but get snubbed for trying to help what he cant help with and rejected for sex over and over again until he stops asking (or her). And then you stop talking about sex, followed by anything remotely connected to sex, followed by arguing but not making up. Etc etc etc. The person you started dating is rarely an evil horrible person. You started dating right? So I think you should learn the why before terminating the relationship. It won't be a good reason as there are no good reasons but it might be a reason you can understand and rebuild from.

@28 so because we have animal-like instincts, we should succumb to them, and not have to worry about any consequences, right? It's not like you invalidated your own argument when you mentioned us being able to control them or anything.

#30 In no way did I say that we should succumb to them. You are allowed to in my eyes but ONLY if your partner agrees. Cheating is a horrible thing to do. I'm just saying it's not an unforgivable thing to do. Latest numbers say that 50% of people have cheated in one of their relationships... So is 50% of the population horrible and disgusting or is monogamy difficult and humans not flawless? If a person cheated once and never again in a relationship of 10 years then he/she isn't an asshole undeserving of your love and I think you should give he/she a very hard time but then listen to the reasons and perhaps forgive them. Are you really trowing 10 years away for 1 mistake that is in our nature?

Would you suggest the same violence if the genders were swapped? I doubt it.

If it were a tiny dude and a large, strong girl? Hell yes. Men generally have more physical (and social) power than women, which is why violence against women is seen as "punching down" (so to speak).

I don't care who you are or what gender, if you have the audacity to **** around you deserve to get punched. maybe the next go around they might think twice about it.

Or maybe violence isn't the answer and no one - man or woman - should be hitting anyone - man or woman - when someone messes up like this. Not only is it violence but it could possibly be considered abuse.

not only is it violent* ugh, stupid autocorrect. lol

First, this read like an ADHD comment. Bounced all over. I was out of breath from simply READING it. Okay, next, I "put out" 4-6 nights a week to "do something I don't want to to keep peace and compromise" (or however you worded it, but it earns nothing in return. My husband STILL cheats and shows zero affection outside of sex. I beg and beg for him to "help me enjoy sex-try to break the low libido". He doesn't even put a finger against my flesh. I'm saying.... That advice sucks in some situations. Some people are just plain TOO ******* SELFISH TO STICK IT OUT OR TRY OR EVEN NOT CHEAT regardless of what the other does or says

#10 he cheats? i really hope you arent still with him if thats the case

Bears, leave him, even if he is the father of your children mentioned on your profile. You and your kids deserve better.

I had the same experience reading that. "He might not have cheated, but if he did, maybe it's your fault. It's not your fault though, but it might be, and he might have cheated, but maybe he didn't, and maybe it's your fault, not that it's your fault."

#20, if you only see women as pieces of meat to use for your own pleasure, then I don't think anyone should be stuck with you either. You're not going to be young forever, and if you base a relationship solely on sex then you're not going to have anything left when you have to eventually give it up.

So a guy is to remain sexless? Not happening, if I'm not getting it from someone I marry then I'm going to find another restaurant. I tried going the **** and ************ route and lost an 8 year relationship because of it.