Intimacy: Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy...

By aawkward... - 09/12/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 048

You deserved it 2 513

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 151

You deserved it 4 219

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 708

You deserved it 4 741

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 148

You deserved it 3 061

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 283

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 5 636

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 592

You deserved it 5 249

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 401

You deserved it 4 530

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 281

You deserved it 81 096

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:40

And your dad is out of town and/or had a vasectomy.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:41

sooo, your mom has sex. old people have sex , bug whoop...

Comments

gaoning87 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 3:02

what a mom

ynp092883 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 3:20

You should be happy your mom has sex otherwise she would become a big ol bitch

heyitsbrii 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 8:26

my mom is very uh sexually active and shes a big ol bitch :/

LemonStarship 5

Thursday 10 December 2009 3:37

Chances are when you're that age you're gonna hope your wife puts that on the list too.

mikeymuscles112 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 3:40

Was she getting them for you or are you some type of uptight geeky prude who does everything with their mom

CitizenSnipz 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 4:08

Trojan? Trojan Horse? Greek sex FTW

omghehehe 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 5:33

Could've also been hot dogs, cucumber, zucchini, carrots, tampons, or lube ;)

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 10 December 2009 5:56

Well, let me try...was it toothpaste?

Esnedon 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 6:46

You know what I think she added? Potatoes. Yeah... that's definately what she put on her list.

VeilOfVelvet 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 7:37

Is it really that hard to believe that your mom is having sex with your dad? (or whoever she's with) I can understand that your parents love life isn't the first thing you want to think about, but I hardly think your life is ****** because of it.