Miscellaneous: Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel...

By squirrel - 09/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 903

You deserved it 42 501

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Same thing different taste

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 053

You deserved it 6 008

By fisted - 12/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 11 737

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 530

You deserved it 12 104

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 084

You deserved it 11 153

By Username - 23/12/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 441

You deserved it 3 025

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 2 529

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 3 346

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 18:41 - United States - Doylestown

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 42 999

blasko1022 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 12:32

finally, im not the only person in america who has that shirt

D_Thr33 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 14:06

Well, you should have been protecting your nuts.

Comments

KesiaFabulous 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:50

WIN for your dad. :) lol. Best thing. He rocks.

AEtherchild 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 21:47

Your dad is full of win. And you don't deserve to wear that shirt if you don't take its advice.

sucks4u918 4

Tuesday 13 July 2010 5:59

lmfao XD my friend has that shirt..

magnis 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:02

ur dad rocks :)

Link5794 18

Monday 9 August 2010 3:50

blanketisawesome 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 0:30

You should have protected your nuts

xKiera710 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 0:51

lol!! xDD

Epiczors 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 3:44

lOl

FML858 0

Friday 10 December 2010 4:42

By far,favourite fml . your dad is amazing LOL;D

KittyOfVietnam 0

Monday 27 December 2010 5:11

Lol your dad is awesome

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 464

Today, I met one of my favorite webcomic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth, he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 7 808

The Top

Today, my mother burst into tears when I told her I was engaged. They were not tears of joy, however. She was crying because although she insists she’s "not" racist, she was crying because none of her grandchildren would be "pure." My fiancé is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 298

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 5 523

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 065

You deserved it 2 403

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 2 068

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 703

You deserved it 2 171

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 62 311

Same thing different taste

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