Intimacy: Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught...

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 00:39 - United States

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 5 523

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 503

You deserved it 24 715

By Samantha35 - 28/01/2019 20:00

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 289

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 956

By da man - 11/02/2009 11:38 - Canada

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 532

You deserved it 17 401

By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 924

You deserved it 3 016

By top dog! - 11/10/2011 20:05 - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 476

You deserved it 2 934

By Hairy Cheek - 15/04/2016 04:27 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 412

You deserved it 2 159

By bloodyfreakinawful - 14/12/2012 06:40 - United States - Seabrook

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 977

You deserved it 3 200

The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 248

You deserved it 3 978

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 13 257

xSonic 9

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:45

Right....filing down your nails. Mmhmm

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:54

That's a good cover story OP, but we know that you were twiddling your twaddle. We know.

Comments

xSonic 9

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:45

Right....filing down your nails. Mmhmm

iOceanus 18

Tuesday 30 October 2012 17:00

Future exhibitionist!

imavelociraptor 6

Tuesday 30 October 2012 19:55

Also.. If OP is a male, his nails shouldn't be long enough to break off anyway...

CrissyyyS2 22

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:47

Isn't there other parts of your jeans to rub on?

RBntM 10

Tuesday 30 October 2012 9:57

Maybe OP wanted to file his/her nail and rub his/her parts at the same time

dashizam 10

Tuesday 30 October 2012 11:48

Short shorts.

siickman 7

Tuesday 30 October 2012 13:30

11 is right. Saves time.

MoodyBlue320 11

Tuesday 30 October 2012 14:41

Who wears short-shorts? Op wears short shorts.(It's a chant)

iamabamf 17

Tuesday 30 October 2012 21:37

Who's a dumbass? You're a dumbass. Oh, sorry, I was continuing the chant.

kellygirl83 11

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:48

Why were you rubbing any where near that area? Side of your leg should have been enough.

prioo 6

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:59

Maybe OP was using their zipper as a nail file.

annie_nk 22

Tuesday 30 October 2012 9:29

6 - I've done that before. Only made things worse.

S182 15

Tuesday 30 October 2012 11:56

Op never stated that she wasn't doing it on the side of her leg... Sometimes people are just nosy bitches and spread rumors when they don't know what is going on. Or, just to be an ass, someone could've told the teacher knowing full and well that she wasn't masturbating.

kobelstone23 13

Friday 2 November 2012 6:55

Because when sitting in a school desk the most available spot to rest your hand, much less file your nail is your upper thigh....

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:54

That's a good cover story OP, but we know that you were twiddling your twaddle. We know.

ICastillo 24

Tuesday 30 October 2012 10:19

Or twaddling the twiddle....

AKGirlinSD 20

Tuesday 30 October 2012 10:22

4, Is "twaddle" the term used for both men and womens' private areas? Or are you assuming it is a guy or girl? FMLers, please don't attack me, I'm really curious and feel out of the loop if that word has been being used and this is my first time seeing reading/hearing it.