Miscellaneous: Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant....

By princess4242 - 26/02/2010 09:10 - India

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 957

You deserved it 24 284

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Same thing different taste

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 101

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 404

You deserved it 3 824

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 221

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 8 390

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 733

You deserved it 76 862

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 989

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 22:00

Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 700

You deserved it 405

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 1 555

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Waunakee

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 800

You deserved it 983

PsychoMerk 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:12

lol :') "the damage was done!"

boopityboppity 11

Friday 26 February 2010 16:45

Well, now we know what you were really thinking about. Gotta love those Freudian Slips.

Comments

okieraider71 4

Friday 26 February 2010 21:51

Wonderful story--haven't laughed that hard in a while!

LechLaAzaziel 2

Friday 26 February 2010 22:11

had penis on the brain?

xHabsfanx 0

Friday 26 February 2010 22:59

So what exactly was on your mind as you said that? hmmm?

ColdGold 6

Friday 26 February 2010 23:07

Canada rocks!

shiritt 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:20

oops, this should have been on the bottom. dammit you strange magical connection device called INTERNET >:[

PurpleSquirrel 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:58

PINGAS

WontTellYaMyName 2

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:12

hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaNo. this is fake. how do i know? i just read it......it's a trauma in 17 magazine. today i was so stupid and uncreative that i copied a story from 17 into fml to get sympathy. FML.