Miscellaneous: Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant....

By princess4242 - 26/02/2010 09:10 - India

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 957

You deserved it 24 284

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Same thing different taste

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 101

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 404

You deserved it 3 824

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 221

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 8 390

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 733

You deserved it 76 862

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 989

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 22:00

Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 700

You deserved it 405

By who wants spaghetti - 17/12/2015 03:42 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 1 555

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Waunakee

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 800

You deserved it 983

PsychoMerk 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:12

lol :') "the damage was done!"

boopityboppity 11

Friday 26 February 2010 16:45

Well, now we know what you were really thinking about. Gotta love those Freudian Slips.

Comments

FCChelsea 3

Friday 26 February 2010 18:47

i gave your GF some peanut sauce last night

Compass 0

Friday 26 February 2010 18:49

I ocassionally drop a "t" every now and then. I've said penis instead of peanuts before. Plus I'm Mexican, so it's hard to prevent. FYL.

bidoof_fml 0

Friday 26 February 2010 18:59

"Oops, haha, I meant peanut sauce." What a stupid FML.

radmuffin 12

Friday 26 February 2010 19:11

no stupid is your profile pic. are u 12 or something?

Gumblebum100 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:54

ahahaha agreed.... but wait I'm... ummm 11.

shiritt 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:16

"Canada rocks!" to bad you lose so much in the Olympics :) can't say we're doing great, but still :D

ItsGottaBeJello 0

Friday 26 February 2010 19:39

butt sex anyone?

theeBeezWaXx 0

Friday 26 February 2010 19:45

haha what was on your mind.?

sorcerersinger 0

Friday 26 February 2010 19:45

You deserve it. why didn't you correct yourself? you could have gotten a small laugh out of it.

dunni786 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:20

22 is righttt I wuda lafffedd my ass offf!

LtHoward 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:26

Hopefully you didn't just stay all quiet after that, making the situation more awkward lol

DimitraPwns 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:32

we know what was on your mind...teehee.

lolwtfwasthat 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:35

I woulve loled so hard

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

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Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 63

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

The Top

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 876

You deserved it 22 545

Today, I was teaching my one year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of a pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 334

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 649

You deserved it 18 334

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers to come to the register was a dwarf. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 712

You deserved it 52 732

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 020

You deserved it 3 922

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 070

You deserved it 3 757

Same thing different taste

Egg IRL

Explain that one

Caught in 4K

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