Intimacy: Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue...

By lizownsvirgy - 07/07/2011 19:49 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 297

You deserved it 5 465

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 952

You deserved it 2 841

Rude awakening

By Alex - 22/02/2022 00:01

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 230

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 038

You deserved it 3 518

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 530

You deserved it 3 370

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 21:13 - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 898

You deserved it 3 379

By Anonymous - 26/04/2014 11:36 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 3 974

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 212

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 202

You deserved it 3 230

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 995

You deserved it 5 285

strawberrydreams 18

Thursday 7 July 2011 23:51

That's totally not disturbing at all.

Sassybq1 13

Thursday 7 July 2011 23:51

O_O hey be lucky it was someone you knew.......even though that's still pretty creepy lol. sorry chica. FYL.

Comments

DaRito 25

Saturday 22 August 2015 5:24

At least he wasn't putting his dick in your mouth.

giannae 13

Tuesday 1 September 2015 3:21

Can't believe this wasn't posted by a southerner...

lebeaumox 0

Tuesday 22 December 2015 19:52

Start of a porno

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Work Money Insects Intimacy Sex Animals Cats Health Kids Neighbours Dating First Dates Love Alcohol Students Fight Parents Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Shopping AITA Parenting Weird Poopoo peepee Drugs Cheating I need your advice Relatable

The Top

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 5 567

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 276

You deserved it 4 584

The Top

Today, I found out I’m going through early menopause. My husband was finally ready to have a baby, after years of debate and saying he’s not ready. I warned him my ovaries wouldn’t hold out forever. He seems shocked that menopause happens to all women and is irreversible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 158

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 062

Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 084

You deserved it 22 670

Today, I finally lost enough weight to fit into the beautiful dress that I ordered for my senior prom. I graduated from high school in 2010. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 465

You deserved it 4 910

Today, my younger sister saw one of my friends "sack tap" me, and randomly did it to me herself as I walked past her. She doesn't get why it's "funny" when my friend does it but not as funny when she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 524

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 128

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

That's that, then

Top comments

Comments