Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up by my family surrounding me with breakfast... - FML

By ad4 - 31/01/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and "Sweet 16" balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I'll be 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 191

You deserved it 4 122

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Friends

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 648

You deserved it 2 626

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 742

You deserved it 2 718

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 3 459

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 97

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 586

You deserved it 5 314

By bdaygirl - 03/12/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 939

You deserved it 4 732

Birthday Boy

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 02:00

Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 186

By really? - 13/04/2013 09:21 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 24 145

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonald's slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 854

You deserved it 3 180

By Dopeboyfresh71 - 19/12/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 976

You deserved it 3 262

Next

Top comments

SirHobnobs 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 1:23

You'd think your mom would remember the day you were pushed painfully out her genitals... I guess not. FYL anyways

prettypinkpixie 9

Tuesday 1 February 2011 1:23

haha thats funny. sucks that they dont know when your birthday is. you should take advantage of this, make it a fun day all about you since its your birthday. then at the end of the day let them know they had the wrong day.

Comments

shanemayhem 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:08

Wait...you're complaining that you got breakfast in bed and balloons? And that you get to do it again in three months?? I don't see the problem here. XD

miss_Ali 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:09

its the thought that counts

dasfro 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:27

its still a nice gesture stop complaining you spoiled brat.

meeba 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:32

Hey, you get extra presents so dont complain

smiley62060 3

Wednesday 2 February 2011 3:08

lol!!!

spade1997 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 3:42

fake this is from family guy

nickstud 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:42

at least your getting a birthday.

gintori 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 12:03

something similar happened to me haha

matrixchild 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 13:51

at least they tried

pawk_fml 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 19:44

Maybe next time they'll just say screw it, you're ungrateful anyway. It could always be worse.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 150

You deserved it 231

The Top

Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 684

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 121

You deserved it 5 250

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 832

You deserved it 4 375

Today, I had to ask my sister if she'd shit her pants because the smell of poop was following us around Paris. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I had to ask an eighteen-year-old, or that she said yes and didn't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 805

You deserved it 1 200

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 356

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 965

You deserved it 15 333