Kids: Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl...

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 055

You deserved it 4 410

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Same thing different taste

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 2 636

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 6 881

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 014

You deserved it 6 152

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 872

You deserved it 6 309

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 5 199

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 231

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 907

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 04:59 - Canada

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 392

You deserved it 2 727

By ww2freak - 14/06/2012 01:17 - United States - Centreville

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 948

You deserved it 27 350

forthepainx3 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:35

and of course 5 out of 6 of the first comments have something to do with the word shit.

_streets_ 19

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:35

Well when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Comments

CuteDumBlonde64 11

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:50

So many SHIT comments. MY BRIAN IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!

Braginskyyy 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:55

Who's this Brian guy?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:16

CuteDumBlonde64 is Brian Griffins dumb blond girlfriend, Jillian.

flockz 19

Tuesday 13 December 2011 3:00

i feel sorry for brian :(

thatKidzmOm 10

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:41

Did you at least clean up the mess after he exploded? Poor guy... 0_o

Rainchikmoo 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:54

Well santa, you do attend to the needs of children...

perdix 29

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:54

And THAT'S why you close the door when you take a shit, Santa! Karma is working fast these days -- comeuppance in less than 24 hours or your next reincarnation is free.

FarSide 22

Tuesday 13 December 2011 2:21

ROFLMAO! 98% won't get it.

heyyy464 1

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:55

Naughty list?

bluechevy101 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 0:56

nickelyeti 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:00

n merry christmas to u too little girl!

RuCheezBurger 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:02

...Ho ho ho...

Emmysmiles 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:02

that's what you get for lying to little kids about being santa

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:07

Really? He deserves to get shit on him because he has a job bringing joy to kids? Buzzkill...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:03

Anyone who types unoriginal puns involving defecation will promply get assassinated by me and any FML staff member who volunteers for this.

1bluesky1 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 1:03

She needs to get potty trained for Christmas.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 509

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 963

You deserved it 3 696

Today, I was fired from my job over a coupon a coworker offered me for bonus reward points. Apparently, it wasn't one I was entitled to. I never even looked at the coupon and assumed it was fine since they offered it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 173

You deserved it 509

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 576

You deserved it 20 413

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 366

You deserved it 5 448

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 352

You deserved it 49 710

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 3 601

Same thing different taste

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