Animals: Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large...

By romea244 - 14/08/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 660

You deserved it 27 067

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Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 284

You deserved it 14 259

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 454

You deserved it 46 707

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 457

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 260

You deserved it 31 985

By baconandkittens - 26/02/2012 03:13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 5 783

By Man vs. Spider - 28/02/2010 17:05 - United States

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 692

You deserved it 8 396

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 317

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 512

You deserved it 3 863

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 3 176

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 740

You deserved it 30 880

blondie1208 17

Sunday 14 August 2011 15:56

spiders. gotta hate those little bitches

glutgyoogle 6

Sunday 14 August 2011 16:09

I hate when the spider wins....

Comments

muzzr11 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 20:12

Isn't it weird how sometimes we completely forget something is in our hand when we freak out! Hahah

tj4234 35

Sunday 14 August 2011 21:57

YDI for being an idiot. Karma sucks doesn't it?

MeganBieber 0

Monday 15 August 2011 0:42

I hate spiders... useless creatures...

lizardking7106 0

Monday 15 August 2011 3:11

After 72 hours of surgery it pulled through

yourkindacool18 5

Monday 15 August 2011 3:49

yikes i hate when that happens to me.....

Soulcatcherteej 6

Monday 15 August 2011 5:12

I totally thought you were talking about Minecraft...

jessiejess020 0

Monday 15 August 2011 6:37

Can't tell if trolling or just very stupid

BoredUnicorn 6

Monday 15 August 2011 9:00

Ouchy.

uppereastside13 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 5:53

Are you talking about minecraft or real life?

Emperorerror 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 6:32

That could totally be Minecraft.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Health Embarrassing Party Dogs Animals Shopping Relatable Cute Kids Coffee Holidays Cats Love AITA Relationship advice Ghosting Sports Awkward Money Solitude Lonely Management Work Surprise Birthday Food Gross Friends Depression

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 328

You deserved it 14 962

Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I tried to speak to my wife about my feelings for this coming year, family and work. I thought it wouldn't be a problem as I regularly listen and support her with her feelings, emotional issues, anxiety, depression, etc. She shut me down in 30 seconds and said to stop acting like my mother and being so stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 104

Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 845

You deserved it 1 209

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 403

You deserved it 58 882

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 618

You deserved it 2 527

Today, I decided to turn my life around by finding a job, going to a gym, and getting counselling. Counselling is £145 a month. A gym would be £50 a month minimum, and there's an 8-year gap in my resumé, and everyone says no one will hire me because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 540

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 408

You deserved it 3 321

Same thing different taste

Adapt, improvise, overcome

Leave spiders to chill

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