By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
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creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

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Comments

oooshiny 0

haha, OMG just wanted to let you know that just joined FML specifically to comment on this & say how creepy yet HILARIOUS that is! perfect timing! hahaha

ohwowthatsucks25 0

that is the most effing disgusting and creepy thing i've ever read. i would have punched him in the face, kicked him in the groin, poured a drink on his head and left. i hope you did that.

even if he wasn't kidding...I would have laughed.

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN AS FAST AS U CAN FAR AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bbananass 0

ha do not have sex with him. do not!!!!

OMG LOL! That is so ******* funny! I can totally imagine a situation like that happen even if it's unlikely. I loled so hard!

marligan 0

******* hilarious. i literally LOL'd

lalosaa 0

hahahahah woww. whatta creeper!

I'm sorry. I know it's creepy and weird, but this is pretty funny. Like something off of Family Guy. XD Anyway, hopefully the next person you date will be more normal. But it's still hilarious! XD

ela2009 0

so funny!! I'm sorry for you tho