Love: Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only... - FML

By Anon - 28/04/2016 20:27 - United States - Henderson

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 185

You deserved it 4 631

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Same thing different taste

Great deal

By danny - 14/12/2021 08:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 210

By ThatOneGuy - 28/04/2019 16:00

Today I went on a date with my long time crush only to find out that we are distant cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 573

You deserved it 234

By Disappointed - 26/05/2016 20:27 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 2 723

Misunderstood

By Lonely - 24/07/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 579

You deserved it 9 469

By firstdate - 24/01/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 258

You deserved it 5 325

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 487

You deserved it 1 118

But I'm a man

By moneyman - 05/01/2020 20:00

Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 347

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 18:02 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 212

You deserved it 2 752

By anon - 21/06/2011 11:52 - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 834

You deserved it 7 272

Next

Top comments

bheaze 20

Friday 29 April 2016 11:29

Then there's only one thing to do... Threesome with Hillary Clinton.

ThunderLightTSV 31

Friday 29 April 2016 11:36

Of course this was posted where I live, why am I not surprised.

Comments

rosslynch553 16

Saturday 30 April 2016 0:00

Trump 2016!

Benpie 22

Saturday 30 April 2016 0:08

I can imaging that conversation... "Hey, would you bang Hilary Clinton, cause I totally would?" "Yeah man, I would **** her so hard!" "Cool man..." Yes I know the genders were unspecified

General_Cool 24

Saturday 30 April 2016 0:34

"Bang her" as in shoot her? Because if so I would like to.

CaityMandy 10

Saturday 30 April 2016 2:08

That's gross

Erebos_ 13

Saturday 30 April 2016 2:53

*in Cleveland Brown's voice* that's nasty...

lilithfury 23

Saturday 30 April 2016 3:03

Why would you want to bang the female equivalent of Trump?

royalmint 11

Saturday 30 April 2016 3:29

There are so many things wrong about this? why hillary??

Eliteperson46 12

Saturday 30 April 2016 5:19

Well then... A follow up would be nice.

anonymous1604_fml 19

Saturday 30 April 2016 5:56

If there was one thing in this world I WOULDN'T do it would be to bang Hilary Clinton. The fu**... Monica Lewinsky, that's where it's at ;)

wordygirl 11

Saturday 30 April 2016 10:53

Only 1 thing in common and it has to do with killery?? That is beyond my comprehension.

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Keywords

Awkward First Dates Love AITA Dogs Animals Cute Alcohol Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Food Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Cars Transportation Sex Intimacy Contraception Suspicious Cheating Gross Kids Poopoo peepee Accident Gifts Birthday

The Top

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 360

You deserved it 5 630

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 272

You deserved it 1 973

The Top

Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found out that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 958

You deserved it 782

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 475

You deserved it 37 432

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 792

You deserved it 3 165

Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 830

You deserved it 1 837

Today, I just got a new assignment for the moving company I work for. Two weeks ago my fiancé dumped me and I moved out of the house. Almost all of the furniture was mine and it took forever. The new moving assignment I have is moving her new boyfriend into my old house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 359

You deserved it 2 817

Today, my wife got rear-ended and won't call the police, file an insurance claim, or send a photo of the wreck. She's too busy boozing it up in the city with her girlfriend. This is going to be an expensive lesson in adulting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 153