Love: Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 955

You deserved it 8 252

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks?

By Anonymous - 23/12/2017 06:00

Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 222

You deserved it 580

Meat is murder

By meatballz - 16/03/2010 04:28 - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 457

You deserved it 43 788

By Anonymous - 10/01/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 080

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 328

By OmniVore - 25/02/2010 09:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 364

You deserved it 42 801

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 67 206

Date night

By Anonymous - 30/04/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 139

You deserved it 7 995

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 503

You deserved it 13 208

Jah Rule

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 430

You deserved it 8 250

Awful line of inquiry

By teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 056

You deserved it 7 428

Next

Top comments

Wingman527 22

Thursday 21 August 2014 5:15

That's just rude.

seprunner 12

Thursday 21 August 2014 5:17

Did you say "Because I eat people who make fun of me." then grab your fork and lick your lips?

Comments

amisenho 11

Friday 22 August 2014 22:05

Maybe OP just recently become a vegetarian. He didn't think of that possibility, did he?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 23 August 2014 1:55

Vegetarians like to eat fattening sweets, too...I don't know where this myth came from that all vegetarians/vegans are skinny like chopsticks because they don't eat meat. They have to get muscle from somewhere!

HappyItalian 38

Monday 25 August 2014 10:56

"Oh my god karen, you can't just ask people why they're fat."

Jjtacos 5

Monday 25 August 2014 17:22

Is No one going to address the real issue here??? like, Why she hasn't been on a date in 8 years???

ConstantlyAnna 8

Tuesday 26 August 2014 9:13

Yes, yes, I was thinking that too! Haha!

ConstantlyAnna 8

Tuesday 26 August 2014 9:15

My brother is vegetarian and a large bloke. I never understood it. Then just figured he still likes fatty foods and sweets, so that much be it!

LRSandTJB412 8

Saturday 6 September 2014 17:34

Well he's definitely not getting laid tonight.

jokersmile13 10

Wednesday 8 October 2014 19:43

get up and leave straight away

Jrsmommy2014 21

Saturday 19 March 2016 13:16

Wow, people can be so rude!

Suzi_d16 27

Wednesday 19 December 2018 1:45

“OMG Karen, you can just ask people why they’re fat!”

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, my wife and I are planning a simple team meal for our son's team. We're stuck on pulled pork or meatballs. I've told her I don't care. She's still indecisive. This has been going on for 2 days. We're now not talking, over meatballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 123

You deserved it 2 313

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 497

You deserved it 36 770

Today, like every other day, my roommate's alarm began to go off at 7:30am. What time does she have to wake up? 10:00am. Why does she have her alarm go off for two and a half hours? Because last semester she needed it to go off then and she is too lazy to change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 337

You deserved it 1 095

Today, I was driving to a gas station because I'd noticed I was almost on empty. Literally a block away from the gas station, my car broke down in the middle of an intersection, and I had to push my car to the side of the road, only to be questioned by police for "suspicious behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 205

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 651

You deserved it 16 124

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 4 460