Health: Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after...

By Fuperman - 02/06/2013 23:14 - France - Illange

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 683

You deserved it 6 732

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not cut out for this

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 02:10

Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 813

You deserved it 1 417

By scardeycat13 - 08/01/2012 05:38 - United States

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 259

You deserved it 10 746

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 20:36 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 113

You deserved it 2 939

By Erica - 08/07/2013 17:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 72 542

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 302

You deserved it 55 376

By Alyssa Charlotte - 29/07/2011 02:25 - Mexico

Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 314

You deserved it 3 039

By Emcee - 05/06/2009 10:48 - Philippines

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 643

You deserved it 6 169

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 110

By katiekat - 05/01/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 957

You deserved it 12 660

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 100

You deserved it 6 551

cchan034 23

Monday 3 June 2013 5:25

Good thing it was "assisted"

Eliseopwns 22

Monday 3 June 2013 5:24

Thank god you're not dead.

Comments

andrew_bellati 11

Monday 3 June 2013 5:31

If you weren't assisted you would be dead, I would be kissing his/her feet right now not posting an FML.

missamberrose 17

Monday 3 June 2013 6:38

Most chutes now a days automatically open after a certain period of time because a lot of people faint the first time.

supercowguy 5

Monday 3 June 2013 5:32

I agree if it wasn't assisted, well I don't even want to think about what would have happened...

Welshite 39

Monday 3 June 2013 5:33

You make an awful superhero, Fuperman...

MrBoredomioo 18

Monday 3 June 2013 5:33

Beats what would have happened to me, with my luck. I would have had my friends come with me and shove me off, because they're all dicks.

Welshite 39

Monday 3 June 2013 5:39

That has nothing to do with luck. If your friends would willingly risk your life like that, you need new friends.

skitsmuffin 6

Monday 3 June 2013 5:39

Try a more calm hobby like gardening or couponing.

fuckedPriceless 17

Monday 3 June 2013 5:41

Look on the bright side, if it wasn't assisted you would be dead.

AzWolf 5

Monday 3 June 2013 5:45

Skydiving is fun, huh!

zenrael 21

Monday 3 June 2013 5:49

The groupon skydiving experience.

seniorchang 16

Monday 3 June 2013 5:55

Is that the Wronski Feint?

ltaper11 20

Monday 3 June 2013 5:55

I'm faaaaaaallllllliiiinnnn...oh what happened?

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 3 602

Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 118

The Top

Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 628

You deserved it 477

Today, I am 10 years clean from an opiate addiction. It’s also been 10 years since I began suffering from severe restless legs syndrome, to the point I cry from frustration and sleep deprivation almost every night. I’ve tried several medications, they don’t help. A recent injury has made me realize opiates do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 142

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 901

You deserved it 12 234

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 3 068

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 920

You deserved it 1 802

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 560

You deserved it 7 395

Same thing different taste

Not cut out for this

Sick moves, bro

High flying old bird

Top comments

Comments