Miscellaneous: Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed...

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 17:16 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 385

You deserved it 33 123

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 503

You deserved it 5 016

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 01:33 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 3 582

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:43 - Canada - Qualicum Beach

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 424

You deserved it 2 751

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 16:05 - Canada - Neustadt

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 939

You deserved it 52 009

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 15:06 - Mexico - Guadalupe

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 4 834

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 471

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 453

You deserved it 3 642

By Anonymous - 29/09/2010 01:47 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 845

You deserved it 51 119

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 06:02

Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 519

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 7 905

Schizomaniac 24

Tuesday 4 September 2012 2:55

I predict a large number of comments about Snooki. Commence.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 4 September 2012 2:59

If you used any spray tan at all, you used too much.

Comments

Nymphetamatrix 19

Tuesday 4 September 2012 3:45

Anyone else noticed that OP lives in Florida? It would've been easier if she could've just gone to the beach, it's blazing hot!

manshack 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 4:30

Next time try getting one that's not abnormally darker than your skin tone and it won't look so obvious. Either that or you just need to go to an actual tanning salon and get one that won't make you all streaky and freakish looking. Always works for me! :)

doodlecloud 26

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:56

Assuming you're the front girl in your profile picture, I will not be taking any of your advice. We clearly have very different ideas of what 'works for you'.

manshack 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 22:45

108- I'm actually the one in the back next to the blonde, but thanks for being a complete ******** anyways!

klx125cross 9

Tuesday 4 September 2012 4:38

Who TF uses spray tan?

angelitared 27

Tuesday 4 September 2012 4:57

You should of told him your on the liver transplant list, and you were dying soon just wanted to go out before you did, then he may have felt bad for you!!!

waitwhatsgoingon 18

Tuesday 4 September 2012 7:13

...no. Don't ever say that... just... no

caitiebug1119 15

Tuesday 4 September 2012 21:30

And drinking would help her destroying liver how?!

bryan788 29

Tuesday 4 September 2012 5:09

Are you a Georide?

chinagirl3343 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 5:16

Wow he was rude.

absolutelyrooted 5

Tuesday 4 September 2012 5:28

Pretty sure he said that on purpose.

XxskyelovexX 13

Tuesday 4 September 2012 5:36

Every time I watch Jersey Shore (if i do its forced or because nothing else is on) I feel as if I'm the only person from Jersey who doesn't mind being pale... Screw spray tans, tanning in general, and those weird lotions that make you gradually get tanner. I'm fine just the way I am :)