Miscellaneous: Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about... - FML

By scumbag i guess - 08/09/2012 00:26 - United States - El Paso

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 895

You deserved it 53 495

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

The dead art of the PUA

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 22:00

Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 2 680

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 640

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 470

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:43 - Canada - Qualicum Beach

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 424

You deserved it 2 751

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 273

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 453

You deserved it 3 642

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 844

You deserved it 4 744

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 15:06 - Mexico - Guadalupe

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 4 834

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 07:52 - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 058

You deserved it 9 238

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 853

You deserved it 3 688

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Top comments

alwayscheesin 2

Saturday 8 September 2012 6:03

Smooth. Real smooth

greenie213 23

Saturday 8 September 2012 6:03

You should leave that stuff to the professionals.

Comments

cuddlycactus 11

Wednesday 22 February 2017 4:00

You need more reliable sources of advice

marthamydear23 9

Wednesday 30 August 2017 6:12

are you a complete idiot?

404wan 19

Wednesday 2 January 2019 2:19

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yooouuuuuuuuu dick.

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 550

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 843

You deserved it 17 114

The Top

Today, my AP teacher once again accused me of plagiarism. Apparently the words "demise," "ultimately," and "rural," are too sophisticated for an 11th grade AP student to use and MUST have been copied from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 542

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I got fired from the community service I was doing out of kindness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 295

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 003

You deserved it 5 228

Today, since it was payday, I figured I’d take my mom out for burgers. The bank also decided to do a random update on our debit card, resulting in my card declining three times. My mom ended up having to pay for our meals. So much for trying to treat my mom out to dinner. I’m still pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 128

Today, after we had sex for the first time, my boyfriend shouted, “Huzzah! My genes will live on!” We used a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 222

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 497

You deserved it 16 594