Miscellaneous: Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work,...

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 587

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Same thing different taste

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 270

You deserved it 8 489

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 07:42 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 426

You deserved it 5 066

By Toothy_Peg - 13/06/2009 15:13 - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 222

You deserved it 4 332

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 403

You deserved it 2 799

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 559

By empress gleskizor the third of glarkon - 18/04/2016 18:12 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 566

You deserved it 1 323

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 771

You deserved it 19 621

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 765

You deserved it 44 232

Ewwww, gross

By Tancred - 15/09/2011 07:36 - Canada

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 2 167

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 183

whatwasthatnoise 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 12:49

couurtt, i'd say you totally got the wrong idea about this story...i'm pretty sure that they are trying to say that the pube they found came from the food they ate while at lunch. Cause tbh if it came from oral you'd notice it a lot sooner than after lunch, hours later. Although i agree with the 4" bit...that seems massive for a pube

f_alltheirlives 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 12:47

Now you have organic floss! Nature is our friend, even though it is mostly disgusting :D

Comments

lisaloise 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 13:58

4 inch? WOAH. World record? XD

amiamazing 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:00

how do you know it's a pube??

that_guy321 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:10

maybe you should stop deepthroating you cumguzzling gutter *****. just kidding, but really, that sucks. if that was in your teeth, imagine what else was in your food that you swallowed xD

Chr0nicdreamz 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:11

rofl sux hard 2b u

evilbrent 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:20

you must give GREAT head

Dreamworld_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:22

Lol! What did you do?! Or should I say Who did you do?! Lol this is absolute hotness. Now OP gets to go on a man hunt to find out who that pube belongs to, boldly going where few have ever gone! Happy Hunting! ; )

DaMinks 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:47

That nasty. . .thanks for sharing. . .

lyflycat9297 4

Monday 31 December 2012 5:07

Welcome to FML, where nearly every situation is nasty! XD

notcoolperson 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 14:54

YDI for being a necrophiliac.

DustyStorm 16

Sunday 28 July 2013 8:45

Hmmmm....dead people? Perhaps nymphomaniac instead?

zack767 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:13

it was probaly a dudes beard that made ur food

plexico 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 15:23

Either you are such an enthusiastic carpet muncher your name ought to be Roomba, or, better yet, Woomba; Or, you were frustrated during your whole lunch break trying to blow a guy sporting a massive "Franks-and-beans"-shaped pubic topiary concealing a 3" dick. Finally, I don't know how you life would NOT be ****** if the 4" pube stuck in your own teeth WAS yours.