Love: Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first...

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 688

You deserved it 4 908

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Same thing different taste

By Charlie - 05/05/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 511

You deserved it 4 906

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 469

You deserved it 18 537

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 670

You deserved it 1 849

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 758

You deserved it 6 944

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 5 355

What the…?

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 281

You deserved it 8 318

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 16:47 - Netherlands

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 002

You deserved it 4 971

By .... - 08/06/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 836

You deserved it 3 273

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 219

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out the one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 237

cottoncandymango 17

Saturday 6 July 2013 12:44

Well, are you or are you not the father?

chanellgymnast 17

Saturday 6 July 2013 12:49

What a peculiar relationship the two of you have... Is honesty outlawed here or are we missing a huge chunk of this FML?

Comments

cougar41 8

Sunday 7 July 2013 5:05

That is really sad I feel for that poor child n your girlfriend sounds like a real winner NOT

PoisonedLiquor 17

Sunday 7 July 2013 10:26

If only it was a boy named Luke.. Star Wars reference, naturally!

AGB10 19

Sunday 7 July 2013 11:28

He is the father. He just doesn't want to admit it.

thatisfuckedup 6

Sunday 7 July 2013 16:15

That is ****** up

queeennnale 18

Sunday 7 July 2013 19:31

OMFG

avapaige1234 19

Monday 8 July 2013 2:02

Well you could be the future daddy.

amirah 0

Monday 8 July 2013 2:48

I know whose this is! Ahh, you finally got one to be published! Lol congrats kid...sorta. :D

underguarded 20

Monday 8 July 2013 6:11

Dude. Run.

AwkGirl 9

Monday 8 July 2013 7:24

Oooh, what to say and how to day it.

rei_azalia 3

Monday 8 July 2013 12:26

Did the girl have a gasmask on?

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 249

You deserved it 6 635

Today, I received a text message from an unknown man. Apparently, after I proposed last week, she broke things off with him. I thought this affair message was a joke until he proved it by sending me photos of them together. She had told him that she was going to leave me for him, unless "I made up my mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 533

You deserved it 3 171

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 683

You deserved it 5 286

Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 073

You deserved it 179

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 850

You deserved it 5 745

Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 929

You deserved it 265

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 829

You deserved it 42 742

Same thing different taste

What the…?

Daddy's girl

Stacy's Mom

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