Love: Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first...

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 688

You deserved it 4 908

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Same thing different taste

By Charlie - 05/05/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 511

You deserved it 4 906

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 469

You deserved it 18 537

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 670

You deserved it 1 849

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 758

You deserved it 6 944

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 5 355

What the…?

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 281

You deserved it 8 318

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 16:47 - Netherlands

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 002

You deserved it 4 971

By .... - 08/06/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 836

You deserved it 3 273

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 219

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out the one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 237

cottoncandymango 17

Saturday 6 July 2013 12:44

Well, are you or are you not the father?

chanellgymnast 17

Saturday 6 July 2013 12:49

What a peculiar relationship the two of you have... Is honesty outlawed here or are we missing a huge chunk of this FML?

Comments

lienaa 3

Saturday 6 July 2013 19:23

don't be a menace!

bignut24 13

Saturday 6 July 2013 19:33

Run. Run while you can.

hailee_windmill 8

Saturday 6 July 2013 19:46

Are you?

byron17 26

Saturday 6 July 2013 20:34

Can you do maths??? 9 months pregnancy, 3 months with the girlfriend.... -.-

emmydafox 16

Saturday 6 July 2013 20:17

Are you going to be a father figure while in your relationship?

theboy13 13

Saturday 6 July 2013 20:57

Don't feel bad, I had the same thing once.:(

onorexveritas 23

Saturday 6 July 2013 21:20

hmm....

0_FYL_0 17

Saturday 6 July 2013 21:47

She didn't happen to be wearing a gas mask, by any chance?

ShakeDisPlace 10

Saturday 6 July 2013 22:20

We need Jerry Springer in the building please!

blackvyper 8

Saturday 6 July 2013 23:11

Excuse yourself by saying you left your phone in the car... then you drive away from there like a formula 1 racer!

shy9irl1993 4

Sunday 7 July 2013 2:49

Aww... What did u say to her?

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward Texting My ex Wanker Sex Intimacy Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Weekend Parents Kids Annoying Pranks Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going." She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 268

You deserved it 2 490

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 756

You deserved it 3 572

The Top

Today, while watching Harry Potter, I realized I don't have any positive memories to be able to do a Patronus Charm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 265

Today, I saw the girl I've had a crush on since forever go on another Facebook rant talking about, “All men are the same!” She does this every time she gets her heart broken by some jerk. I’ve been trying to get with her for about 6 years, and she’s yet to give me the time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 2 232

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 282

Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 036

You deserved it 3 958

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 4 041

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 4 137

Same thing different taste

What the…?

Daddy's girl

Stacy's Mom

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