Love: Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I...

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 197

You deserved it 8 411

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 461

By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 2 618

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 9 612

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 962

You deserved it 3 200

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 558

By Tiana - 09/01/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 005

You deserved it 36 906

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 114

You deserved it 64 141

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 476

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 348

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 419

You deserved it 54 849

biass 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:15

that was a hot date...

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:18

Tell her you're just a hunka hunka burnin' love.

Comments

yummycupcakegirl 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:21

Burn baby, BURN!;)

yukioshi 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:24

your beautiful

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:34

Your beautiful what? Clown? Toes? Baby? Martian? What?! Come on, be specific.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:37

lmao nice one #29 :]

Phustercluck 11

Wednesday 6 October 2010 17:06

I don't understand how people (whom are taught english) mix up 'your' and 'you're', especially those educated beyond the 5th grade.

RachelHellYeah 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 17:16

43-Oh my gosh! I know right! It really irritates me. I'm not the smartest person in the world, but I still understand the difference between them!!

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:29

Maybe english isn't their first language and they're phonetic spellers.

DjeePee 24

Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:42

English is my thirth language and I still know perfectly the difference between your and you're.

waiting4u 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:53

dumbass

CoachLlama 5

Wednesday 6 October 2010 19:35

@5t3ff1k4h - You're such a stickler! Oh, wait. I mean, "Your such a stickler!".

5t3ff1k4h 44

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:59

71 - Get over it.

BadasS14 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 8:37

dumbass

Canyadiggit03 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:22

A smoking girl deserves a smoking date.

unfortunate_13 5

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:24

you like her house?

DjeePee 24

Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:39

Damn, damn, damn, I wanted to say that :( (and he REALLY liked the house)

lolzatyourprobz 12

Saturday 30 August 2014 18:28

I love grammar. Let's eat, grandma! Let's eat grandma! It saves grandma :)

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:25

ah well, I hope she appreciated the effort though :)

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:25

blink182 ftw!!

UnicornsDoExist 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:26

Thought that counts?

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:28

OP - At least you were smart and called the fire department rather than throwing ice cubes in it.

RachelHellYeah 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:33

Who would ever throw ice cubes at a fire...???

biass 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:36

Hey, I thought it would cool it down... jp lol

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:36

...I was referring to an old FML, where the girl (I think it was a girl, at least) threw ice cubes into the fire. Obviously, it ended badly.

IpWarfare 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 8:48

No if you were smart you would have line the inside with m-80s, unscrew the front door hinges before hand, set up a camera outside. then once the m-80s go off kick the door done with your girl in your arms while slowly walking away from the exsplosion. NEVER look back at the exsplosion. I guarentee she'll put out, her and half the chicks on the block:)

honeybee366 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 13:22

you're so ******* annoying.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Thursday 7 October 2010 17:31

99 - I was going to ask where you came up with that idea. Then I saw your user name. Nice. ;) Honeybee - Don't read the comments then. Derp. I'm not bothering you, I just made one comment ^ up there, AFTER you said this comment. Also, if you didn't mean for that comment to be for me, specify who you're talking to.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Wednesday 6 October 2010 16:43

If a fire should ever arise while you're cooking: BLAST IT WITH PISS! In this way, you will put out the fire and save the food. The girl will be impressed and she'll probably let you fondle her dog Dakota, if you know what I mean...