Intimacy: Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best...

By Username - 12/09/2010 14:46 - France

Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best friend to find me a date. Somehow, she managed to go home with a guy and I'm still decidedly single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 066

You deserved it 6 508

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 23:00 - Canada

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 3 354

By ThirdWheelHell - 30/06/2016 06:07 - United States - Farmville

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 013

You deserved it 3 537

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 997

You deserved it 4 483

Friendzone 2.0

By NeverNumberOne - 23/04/2018 01:30

Today, I finally got the courage to ask my best friend to go on a date with me. She assumed I meant a double date and squealed, "Who's the lucky guy?!" She thought I was her gay best friend for the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 901

You deserved it 752

By britt71411 - 13/01/2012 17:17 - United States

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 655

You deserved it 5 716

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 102

You deserved it 44 835

You tried

By Anonymous - 09/12/2011 07:56 - Australia

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 322

You deserved it 3 265

By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 306

You deserved it 3 445

By C2 - 17/01/2009 23:17 - Australia

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 3 196

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 673

You deserved it 7 421

bigbadtim 7

Sunday 12 September 2010 19:17

Wow, either your friend found the only straight guy in the bar, or she can turn a gay man straight.

smiley_ily 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 19:10

aww, maybe it wasn't your time ? keep positive though :)

Comments

dickster 0

Monday 13 September 2010 4:06

YDI for being gay. Repent, heathen.

QWERTYCommander 5

Monday 13 September 2010 4:36

Says the guy named "dickster".

ZomgWeAreClubKid 0

Monday 13 September 2010 5:46

@ 105: Stop being such an asshole, you're just bitter no one wants you.

gypsyblue 0

Monday 13 September 2010 4:08

"Decidedly"? Your diction makes me cry.

QWERTYCommander 5

Monday 13 September 2010 4:38

Have a threesome with your friend and the guy. Solves all problems.

me142 0

Monday 13 September 2010 4:57

i agree with 94

toeliqour 0

Monday 13 September 2010 5:42

must be one hot friend to straighten out a gay guy

xxjoseph1543xx 0

Monday 13 September 2010 5:47

YDI for being gay

impactofreason77 0

Monday 13 September 2010 6:10

YDI for being gay. Now for the onslaught of troll-y comments...

heyitsmekenny 4

Monday 13 September 2010 6:12

do you homophobes have any feelings at all...

Georgy11811 0

Monday 13 September 2010 6:47

Yeah, I agree with these people. You totally deserve it for having different taste from them and not being able to help it.

klx125cross 9

Friday 31 August 2012 4:29

She found another straight person?? Congrats

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 7 104

The Top

Today, I had a DMV appointment I couldn’t miss. With my one year-old in the car, the anti theft system started going off and I couldn't get it to stop, so we just drove to the DMV with the car alarm going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 163

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 266

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 613

You deserved it 3 529

Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 919

Today, I discovered that my band section had misspelled my name as "Joke" on our section poster. On purpose. It's supposed to be Jake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 610

You deserved it 812

Today, my parents ate at a new Italian restaurant. They said it was the best they'd ever had and brought me some, insisting I try it. It had so much garlic and sugar in it that I couldn't finish. They're upset because one of our cousins owns the restaurant, and they say I'm not being supportive. We're Irish, not Italian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 84

Same thing different taste

Friendzone 2.0

You tried

Top comments

Comments