Transportation: Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink...

By icantdrive - 19/03/2009 04:22 - Canada

Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 283

You deserved it 73 375

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By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 107

You deserved it 10 264

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By Carrie - 04/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 335

By boom - 17/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 143

You deserved it 3 785

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 069

You deserved it 49 562

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 035

You deserved it 9 629

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 24 005

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 57 193

By Lmop68 - 27/05/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 048

You deserved it 17 357

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 464

You deserved it 9 135

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 619

happy_ness 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:04

haha. apparently you don't need alcohol.

Locket_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:55

#7 If you are driving, then don't drink. Obviously. However the OP was being self-righteous ("alcohol makes people stupid and crash their cars"). By all means make the choice not to drink, but when someone offers you a drink, thats all you need to say - "sorry, I don't drink". There is no need to act all high and mighty like you are somehow better for not drinking.

Comments

MonkeySpeaks 4

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:25

Im with SimplySmile (#34). You sound pretentious and judgemental. There is nothing wrong with not drinking but don't belittle people that do... There are a lot of people that can drink and drink responsibly. Mostly OVER the age of 21-23. Responsible drinkers don't drive while durnk and know their limits (i.e. they don't binge drink). Its fine that you chose a straight edge life style (such a euphamism...sigh)... but don't berate or judge other people for making different choices than you

lolyouareanidiot 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:33

Why shouldn't we judge people for making stupid decisions? I mean, when someone gets drunk and is rolling around like an idiot, they deserve to be laughed at and looked down on.

earwig12 1

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:53

Agreed with #2 - Friends don't let friends drive female. It's simply not responsible.

rachel42 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:02

If you can't even drive sober, enjoy the drink! Also, if you don't drink, why go to the party? Tell your crush you don't approve parties in general

wichitagirl87 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:51

lol nice going it was good of you not to drink but.. too bad you made yourself look like an idiot trying to impress him with that "alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars" line lol are you sure you didn't have anything to drink that night?

Kyothine 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 21:08

"Alcohol makes people stupid I'm above the influence DUR HUR HUUURR"

lpblue 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 21:09

Yeah, I'm 19, and I drink responsibly. I know my limit and don't push it. It's possible to drink and not act like an asshole. You deserve it for being such a jerk. And just by btw, when your crush is drinking and you pretty much call him an idiot for it, he's probably not going to reciprocate your feelings.

Sakeyaki 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 21:09

SOMEONE can't drive, either way!

shehzeenahmed 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 21:42

okay so to everyone who's making assumptions about women drivers--don't. yes, yes, i know, you think all women suck at driving and we should be taken off the road. but i know a lot of guys who do stupid things on the road, and i know a lot of women who don't. so its not necessarily gender related. this person however, definitely does not need alcohol added to her already poor driving skills lol.

funkycloud7137 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:02

He must think you're an alcoholic lol. Btw statistically women get in more accidents per hour on the road than men do to all those looking for facts to back up the stereotype.