Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While...

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 590

You deserved it 3 580

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Same thing different taste

Drama Llama

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 201

You deserved it 10 113

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 401

You deserved it 4 697

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 081

You deserved it 3 820

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 109

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 12:33 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 683

Pranked, level 2000

By Poopyhead - 08/11/2009 19:14 - Ireland

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 15 734

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 316

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 733

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 2 026

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:36

It's like animal bukkake... but with other non-seminal bodily fluids.

shamandalie_fml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:39

ewww

Comments

fuckyoufuckers 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 11:42

Alt F4 your life.

kayceesaysfyl 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 21:18

yeah, yeah, i like that.

jchansfan 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:34

I would have told the deer there was no need to get pissy... :P

Cristaderzi 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:36

Obviously OP has a bad vibe. Animals can sense that!!!

JellyMelly 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:42

I hope your the kind of person who carries purell, even though it's not meant for face, I would have used a little of it anyway...public zoo bathroom sinks are usually gross.

Drunkbunny 2

Sunday 8 November 2009 15:04

"Disgusted and embarrassed..."????? OMG how DARE animals act like animals! I'd sue the petting zoo for exposing you and the pwessius childrennn to a version of nature that doesn't resemble the talking creatures in a Disney movie!

Meggehx 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:05

There is nothing NOT disgusting about being covered in animal saliva. And yes, it would be quite embarrassing to have to walk around the zoo looking for a place to clean yourself when it looks like you've been making out with a slug. OP wasn't personally insulting the animals, he had a shit experience. Go hug a tree, and drink some deer urine.

PkSk8ter 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:57

LMFAO! FYL!

Derfherder 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 20:08

Faker. You would have run to the bathroom after a llama spit on you, not continued on your merry way...

beethoven_fml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 20:08

lmao why were you embarrassed disgusted sure

kaieda8 12

Sunday 8 November 2009 20:25

Llamas dont spit. They regurgitate the what ever contents are in their stomach and shoot it through their nose so what is all over your face is somewhat digested llama food and snot.