Health: Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she...

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 332

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 038

You deserved it 5 542

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 222

You deserved it 6 680

Ethics in medecine

By Savannah - 07/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 863

You deserved it 594

By Jesse - 10/05/2012 21:22 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 066

You deserved it 2 419

By applegreen - 16/02/2017 15:00 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 587

You deserved it 508

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 354

You deserved it 71 730

Patient confidentiality

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 00:01

Today, I got a mammogram, after feeling some discomfort. After the exam, I mentioned to my mother my doctor referred the test, because even though I'm still in my twenties, I have a family history of breast cancer. She told coworkers, friends, and family about my health condition. Now they all know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 124

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 223

By Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 414

You deserved it 8 357

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 466

You deserved it 5 128

g0dless 15

Monday 29 April 2013 23:43

Aw don't worry OP! I'm sure they've had this happen plenty of times :)

rg350dx 29

Monday 29 April 2013 23:47

Hey, a nice breast rubbing does feel good. But then again it's an unfortunate slip of the tongue considering its your doctor doing it. I guess the male equivalent of that would be, "Now turn your head and cough".."That felt good, doc"

Comments

Original_Outcast 23

Monday 29 April 2013 23:49

Lezbihonest it heels good.

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 29 April 2013 23:53

"Yeah I noticed. Those girls are pointers all right!"

MUTINY_fml 7

Monday 29 April 2013 23:55

Hey thats not too bad, she is a doctor after all, no big deal :p

noelasis94 18

Monday 29 April 2013 23:57

More than a feeling?

klorehore 24

Monday 29 April 2013 23:58

atleast the doctor was a girl so she probably knows that getting your boobs massaged feels pretty awesome, no harm done :)

theycallmekitty 13

Tuesday 30 April 2013 0:00

How can you not giggle? It tickles me like crazy!

perdix 29

Tuesday 30 April 2013 0:01

At least you didn't say, "I'll give you 20 bucks to pinch my nipples!" (I'll do it for $12.99)

EVnIAS 13

Tuesday 30 April 2013 2:11

I'll do it for a smile!

perdix 29

Tuesday 30 April 2013 5:00

#45, damn you for undercutting me!!! Do you know how much training, effort and practice went into developing my sublime nipple-pinching skills? Maybe some cheapskate will accept your offer for a free nipple mangling, but the ladies with discriminating nipples will happily pay for my exquisite service.

AshaaFerreira 22

Tuesday 30 April 2013 13:22

Predix I was about to order from you for that amazing price! But hey if I can get that for free where can I sign up #45! *smiles*

AshaaFerreira 22

Tuesday 30 April 2013 13:26

Sorry I meant perdix forgive me! But to stuff the fussing of the undercutting you ill sign up for both! Now #9 can call me a ****..... Since he uses that word so freely!

perdix 29

Tuesday 30 April 2013 18:37

#81, my nipple-pinching service has a 100% guarantee. If you do not find the experience far more titillating than the free competitor's, there will be no charge. I'm confident that not only will you happily pay my fee, you'll even leave a . . . *lowers sunglasses* tip ;)

EVnIAS 13

Tuesday 30 April 2013 20:11

hey just because I am doing this for only a smile does not mean I don't have the experience to compete with you. I have been told I am very good at what I do! and #80 I promise that I will do a great job and you will leave smiling when I am done : )

EVnIAS 13

Tuesday 30 April 2013 20:13

and don't worry perdix it's a special offer to first time customers so they can feel confident they have nothing to lose! and for those who I enjoy the company I will keep it free as I am sure you would do if you like them!