Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school...

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 723

You deserved it 7 491

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Same thing different taste

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 466

You deserved it 6 317

By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 477

You deserved it 9 035

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 4 965

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 246

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 518

You deserved it 38 444

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 156

By fernie vazquez - 10/06/2012 09:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 372

You deserved it 20 497

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 465

You deserved it 23 832

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 665

By promposer - 04/04/2016 18:55 - United States - Dobbs Ferry

Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 635

You deserved it 4 499

ombrelle 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!

Carnivaldead 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.

Comments

abtface12 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:03

thats what you get for dating a catholic.

ombrelle 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!

Carnivaldead 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.

mikuxxhatsune 32

Friday 4 December 2015 11:42

Even better, ask out her prettier friend.

Ilovelife07 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:04

wow, i guess thats a "no" for prom then haha

Hunny_bear 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 4:18

lol how sad :(

totalnutjob 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:05

Tell her you now know how Jesus felt about Peter. (Oh, and dump her sorry ass!)

lincolnkite 6

Thursday 25 April 2013 8:30

I think he needs to try 2 more times first.

VegasMade702 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:05

Hahaha she pretended not to know you??? That's so funny......

Shadic 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

Your "girlfriend" isn't a girlfriend.

mrhahn530 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

BlackCube2 2

Monday 28 May 2012 1:39

YESS!!!

mif_fml 27

Friday 5 July 2013 4:47

Wtf...?

mindpsyc 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:06

That sucks. I can't stand people who act like that.

aback 4

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:07

Guess the dumb bitch can take herself to the prom, then.

anabanana6444 0

Friday 24 June 2011 3:48

LOL

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Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 369

You deserved it 1 985

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 722

You deserved it 13 099

The Top

Today, I finally had a breakthrough in therapy and got some much needed clarity in my life. After breaking away from the fear-based religious indoctrination that I’d been force-fed my entire life, I came to the conclusion that I regret every decision I’ve ever made, including the husband I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 203

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 425

You deserved it 21 302

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 481

You deserved it 32 577

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 158

You deserved it 151 570

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year-old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 729

You deserved it 4 111

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 813

You deserved it 19 027

Same thing different taste

Backfire

Joe Smooth move

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

Sneaky

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