Love: Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch,...

By WhoLikesPie - 25/07/2015 15:51 - United States - Tampa

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 346

You deserved it 2 101

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 21:47 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 939

You deserved it 1 287

Stop talking now!

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 660

You deserved it 8 465

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 06:32 - Canada

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 3 041

Honey, you've got some explaining to do

By darren - 08/04/2024 18:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 95

By mysteryguy3039 - 07/08/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 743

You deserved it 374

By Anonymous - 15/04/2013 02:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 470

You deserved it 6 276

By irresponsible - 14/08/2010 20:41 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 028

You deserved it 8 884

By maddieex - 04/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 341

You deserved it 3 292

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 693

You deserved it 6 828

jerzjay 17

Sunday 26 July 2015 16:33

Someone's got some explaining to do!!!

dawood_k 27

Sunday 26 July 2015 16:32

You have the weekend to find a new GF

Comments

Addiction333 14

Wednesday 2 March 2016 17:25

Oh she's been getting "worked" alright... ;P

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 11 March 2018 3:03

I like pie. Where's the pie?

T1A2Z3 34

Sunday 11 March 2018 3:04

Maybe she forgot to tell you she picked up a new weekend job or something. Or maybe she's trying to surprise you by leading something

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The Top

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 5 241

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

The Top

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 396

You deserved it 2 531

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 618

You deserved it 42 657

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 217

You deserved it 29 166

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 932

You deserved it 5 125

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 977

You deserved it 3 644

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 2 291