Health: Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I...

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 488

You deserved it 5 291

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 563

You deserved it 5 935

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 485

You deserved it 4 813

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 911

You deserved it 5 279

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 656

You deserved it 7 793

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 442

You deserved it 4 063

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 403

You deserved it 48 876

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 6 593

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 303

You deserved it 7 529

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 976

You deserved it 7 931

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 781

You deserved it 10 100

pabj208 23

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:00

Lock the door if you're doing weird shit (literally)

Koalax3 18

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

That's the kind of story that you can mention to your grandkids 60 years later over eggnog

Comments

skyttlz 32

Tuesday 23 June 2015 10:29

Some doors don't lock. In my house none of the bedrooms or the bathroom have locks.

rebamoo 14

Tuesday 23 June 2015 21:00

That's a pretty dumb design. I think it would be worth the investment to buy new door knobs with locks.

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Tuesday 23 June 2015 10:30

When you are constipated, it's better not to force out. Try to swallow a few tablespoons of olive oil, it can help. Considering it can take hours, I wouldn't have dared pushing in a bathroom without lock.

EPIKxPANDA 13

Tuesday 23 June 2015 11:32

Usually if the bathroom door is shut, I knock to make sure no one is in there, but I don't know how I would react if I saw someone doing what you did..

Fas4wd 13

Tuesday 23 June 2015 11:39

Lock??

idxntgiveafxck 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 11:58

Awkward

dideldoodles 17

Tuesday 23 June 2015 12:33

Wait, were you literally squatting ON the toilet?

RickiRose 9

Tuesday 23 June 2015 12:39

What's wrong with the dad? Whoever in their right mind just opens a closed bathroom door without knocking? Especially if you have company! How rude

Guru_Gal 12

Tuesday 23 June 2015 12:51

Next time, lock the bathroom door. Any bathroom without a lock is just weird (unless it's broken). It's surprising how many posts on here involve an unlocked bathroom door.