Miscellaneous: Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our...

By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 357

You deserved it 31 612

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Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 308

Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 848

You deserved it 51 115

By BoomHeadshot - 02/05/2012 02:27 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 631

You deserved it 32 852

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 02:00

Today, my son tripped into a door and slammed it shut. I'd been holding onto the door frame, leaning around to talk to a neighbour, so of course it slammed my fingers. It must be a really sharp door, because I just woke from the surgery to reattach my three amputated fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 129

Emergency!

By Rebecca - 28/05/2021 20:01

Today, looking out of my window, I spotted a fire raging in the building across from my apartment. Grabbing my phone, I dashed out to the balcony, only to slam into the screen door instead. After calling 911, I sprinted back out, only to clock the door a second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 388

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 32 610

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 146

By snowball - 29/12/2010 23:32 - Switzerland

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 5 774

Didn't see ya there

By stillhurting - 05/01/2014 21:45 - Canada - Langley

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 744

You deserved it 7 567

By Wounded_irony - 05/12/2017 05:00

Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 614

daydreamer244 13

Friday 23 September 2011 0:51

so I guess the colored tape didn't help then?

ihavenosoul 4

Friday 23 September 2011 0:52

Your mom must be so proud.

Comments

raspygirl 12

Friday 23 September 2011 3:47

What does ftw mean??

RedSharpieInk 5

Friday 23 September 2011 4:40

for the win

erpaderp 17

Friday 23 September 2011 4:43

"For The Win" or "**** The World". Usually the latter.

raspygirl 12

Friday 23 September 2011 14:52

Thanks!!!

rexgar2000 10

Friday 23 September 2011 4:03

the same exact thing happened to me years ago. dont worry shit happens

melissarxy1 3

Friday 23 September 2011 4:04

My first thought upon reading this is that it must be from the point of view of a dog because no human could be this dumb. I guess I'm wrong.

FU2causeUFML 2

Friday 23 September 2011 4:11

Hitting it was understandable until you said the tape. I mean I probably would have done the same thing... but still.

chessypie 0

Friday 23 September 2011 4:18

Your as smart as obama!!

WeirdSauce 7

Friday 23 September 2011 4:26

Ouch. At first I read screen door. You have my sympathy.

franceypants 0

Friday 23 September 2011 4:32

hahahaha woow that sucks!!

swinglifeaway123 8

Friday 23 September 2011 4:41

-amused-

Rickrollol_fml 0

Friday 23 September 2011 4:43

It's like a Windex commercial!

johnnyknoxville 8

Friday 23 September 2011 4:47

Maybe it was the wrong shade of clear.

Keywords

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The Top

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, after 3 months of quarantine being totally broke, I was finally glad to get back to work. I found out that they no longer need me because "there's no money" to pay me. As I was leaving, I saw freshly renovated rooms, a huge new plasma, and a crowd of workers busy expanding the summer terrace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 246

Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way it's supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells, "Turn the gas off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 344

You deserved it 52 409

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 941

You deserved it 27 195

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 794

You deserved it 3 405

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 288

You deserved it 4 295

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 2 730